Awakening Love with Essential Oils

February 3, 2014

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WARNING: The intended audience for this post is married women. While I have attempted to present the topic of intimacy and essential oils with discretion, please enter at your own risk.

Do Not Awaken Love Before its Time…

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
Do not stir up nor awaken love
Until it pleases. (Song of Solomon 2:7)

…but once the time has come, stir things up with essential oils!

The Song of Solomon offers a poetic vignette of marital intimacy in all of its glory—in all of its purity, eagerness, and beauty…and in all of its passion! As young girls grow into women, God gifts them with tender emotions and powerful hormones, both of which support and promote God’s sovereign purpose of marriage and fertility within a loving covenant relationship.

Young women of all ages do well to heed the warning given to the daughters of Jerusalem not to stir love before it is lawfully able to be fulfilled, but what about after the celebration—after the consummation of marriage? What about pregnancy, and babies, and hormone fluctuations, and bills, and PMS, and stress…and what about menopause?

Prince Charming may have awakened his beloved, and they may have both enjoyed a full season of fervent, zealous intimacy together; but, what happens if Sleeping Beauty eventually falls asleep again? And this time a simple kiss isn’t doing the trick?

Try not to blush while I share with you a few ways essential oils might be used to rouse and stimulate the sleepy libido.

A Healthy Balance

“I just have no energy.” “I feel like I’m in a fog all the time.” “When I said I couldn’t wait to get to bed tonight, he thought I was flirting, but I meant to sleep!”

Does any of this sound familiar?

When a woman’s hormones are out of balance, it upsets the whole apple cart. She’ll often experience fatigue, vaginal dryness, low libido, fertility issues, hot flashes, insomnia, weight gain, hair loss, brain fog, irregular periods, and other symptoms.

These problems can put a damper on anyone’s love life, and obviously it can affect fertility for a number of reasons. If you’re experiencing one or more of these symptoms, please consider visiting an integrative doctor to have your progesterone checked, as well as your thyroid and cortisol levels, and to explore other ways your body may be out of balance.

Make sure that you’re getting plenty of sleep (this may mean a short nap during the day); eating nutritious, fresh, whole foods; and getting some sort of daily exercise. Also, check out the following essential oils and essential oil-infused supplements that have helped some women I interviewed balance their hormones and increase their energy levels:

Progessence Plus, Prenelone, Prenelone Plus, Sage, Marjoram, Clary Sage, Dragon Time, Mister, Lady Sclereol, Sclaressence, Thyromin, NingXia Red, Master Formula HERS, Super B, Vitamin D, Super C, Essentialzyme, Life 5, Omegagize, Endoflex, EnRgee, Frankincense

Preparing a “Spicy” Bed with Essential Oils

“I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon…” (Proverbs 7:17)

You may not think the above verse is the best promo for an aromatic marriage bed; since, in this case, it references the actions of an adulteress. However, I included it because it does reveal the ancient custom of scenting the bed chamber as an enticing foretaste of sensual pleasure.

Just as lingerie may be used for good or for evil, so might the exotic scents and sensations of essential oils. And why shouldn’t the marriage bed be the most aromatically rich, exciting, and pleasing bed there is?

I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the lock. (Song of Solomon 5:5)

Aside from medical reasons, many times, both men and woman may lose their desire for intimacy due to exhaustion, stress, depression, or anxiety. So, choosing essential oils that will help a couple to relax, while simultaneously stimulating the emotions or hormones, may be the best choice for awakening healthy intimacy.

Most “sensually inspiring” essential oils work in part by initiating a warm sensation, stimulating the body and arousing passion with their rich, exotic aroma of spicy or floral notes.

Historically, the euphoric properties of oils like ylang ylang, myrrh, sandalwood, rose, and patchouli have been used to enhance intimacy aromatically and topically. Myrrh, which in my opinion smells best when blended with other oils, is mentioned seven times in the Song of Solomon! Is it any wonder that some believe Myrrh can be helpful for balancing hormones?

“His cheeks are like a bed of spices,
Banks of scented herbs.
His lips are lilies,
Dripping liquid myrrh.” – Song of Solomon 5:13

Get Ready!

Think ahead by preparing and planning for your evening. Start by cleaning your bedroom (I suggest essential oil-based Thieves Household Cleaner). Get rid of clutter (or at least move it elsewhere). Vacuum, dust, wash sheets and linens, and make sure the room feels fresh and clean.

Now prepare your sheets and linens by scenting them with something exotic. I suggest making the following pillow spray using sandalwood, patchouli, ylang ylang, or Sensation.

Exotic Pillow Spray

25 drops essential oils
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. purified water
2 oz. glass spray bottle

Remember to consider all five senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell). Scatter unscented soy or beeswax candles around the room. Turn off electronic lighting, computers, phones, etc. Play soft classical music, creating a haven of peace.

Decide which massage oils you’re going to use and place them in pretty bottles on a decorative tray beside fresh flowers or herbs. You may also want to have on hand glasses for drinks, dark chocolate, fresh berries etc. Prepare any other massage tools you’ll want to use.

Just before beginning your evening, you may want to start with a warm, lightly scented bath. Add the same oils you used for your pillow spray to some Epsom salts before adding to bath water.

You may want to warm your massage oil in a small electric dip warmer ahead of time. Personally, I like to make sure my essential oils are never heated, so that they retain their therapeutic qualities. Because of that, if you want to heat your carrier oil, I suggest applying it to the skin separately from the essential oils.

Scent-sual Massage Oil

30 drops – Cedarwood
20 drops – Clary Sage
10 drops – Ylang Ylang
6 drops – Patchouli
1 drop – Myrrh or Frankincense
4 oz. sweet almond oil

Steamy After Bath Rub

30 drops – Neroli
10 drops – Sandalwood
5 drops – Juniper
4 drops – Ginger
4 ylang ylang
2 drops jasmine or lavender
4 oz. v6 or sweet almond oil

The Brain: The Most Important Part of Sexuality

As one mother shared with her soon-to-be-married daughter, “The marriage bed is like a playground; it is a place to have great fun together!” But, beyond fun, intimacy, and especially climax, causes the release of oxytocin, an important hormone in the brain—a hormone that is known to promote emotional bonding.

This fact, combined with the way essential oils effect the limbic system of the brain, the area that controls emotions and stores memories, makes the use of essential oils in intimacy a powerful and influential tool—a healing balm and even a protection to the marriage bed.

A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, that lies all night between my breasts. (Song of Solomon 1:13)

The Scent-sual Art of Touch and Massage

Combine the deep, intoxicating effects of essential oils with an evening of loving, sensual touch and massage to arouse intense desire between you and your husband! You will be amazed!

And remember, just like anything of value, practice makes perfect. Take the time to study and recognize his desires and prompts, and allow yourself to relax—to willingly respond and engage. Explore, feel, taste, smell, listen, watch, communicate, reveal, and enjoy!

Sandalwood, rose, neroli, and ylang ylang, as well as the Young Living blends, Present Time and Sensation are all excellent choices for massage and sensual exploration. Sandalwood’s mysterious musky aroma blends particularly well with the body’s own natural scent, making it perfect for a romantic evening. Young Living also offers a Sensation Massage Oil that is absolutely intoxicating!

Both sandalwood and rose* can be used intimately and applied directly to “sensitive” areas. Yes, really. However, because everyone is different, I would suggest having a carrier oil available (V6, olive oil, or coconut oil), just in case you or your husband find any of the oils a little too stimulating.


A woman I know recently told me that she discovered the blend Lady Sclereol helped with vaginal dryness, and its gentle warmth helped to stimulate libido when applied/massaged “directly!” Once again, while it can be used neat (undiluted), I still suggest that you have a carrier oil on hand “just in case.”

The brain often associates scents with memories; so, be ready to have flashbacks of the exotic evening you had with your beloved every time you smell sandalwood…and try not to blush in public!

As you grow older, remember that greying hair, a shifting body, and the changes that accompany menopause do not mean the end to an exciting and passionate marriage bed. In fact, all those moments of bonding, all those years of developing trust, growing together, sharing together, and “practicing” in the playground together, may mean the beginning to a whole new level of intimacy! So wake up, Sleeping Beauty! The fun has just begun!

caleb and mommyTo get started using therapeutic grade essential oils with your family, I recommend purchasing our Premium Starter Kit! This way, you’ll enjoy wholesale prices all the time! It includes eleven of Young Living’s most popular essential oil singles and blends, an ultrasonic diffuser (worth $100.00!), essential oil samples for sharing, and 2 NingXia Red immune boosting drinks! In addition, I’ll send you a free essential oil reference book to help you learn how to start using your essential oils! Get started now! referenceguidesmall

By the way, I am not a doctor – just a mom who uses essential oils in her own family. Please know that any information provided on The Common Scents Mom is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to prescribe, diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. It is your responsibility to educate yourself and address any health or medical needs you may have with your physician. Please seek professional help when needed.

Testimonials from Real Women:

How Kim Balanced Her Hormones with Progessence Plus

Menopause Help

Restoring Intimacy after Babies


12 Responses to “Awakening Love with Essential Oils”

  1. Denice says:

    Good for you for posting this!!!! I love that, as a Godly woman, you are teaching other Godly women that not only is it okay to have great, fun sex with our husbands, but it is okay to talk about it (discreetly) and enjoy it. As a menopausal woman, I especially appreciate these helpful ideas as so many of us struggle with desire at this point.

  2. pat juarez says:


    This was a great piece, but I just want to know where you got that picture with the sheets woven into a heart……that was so cool. Have a great day. Pat

    • Stacy McDonald says:

      Hey Pat! James said to tell you I create “sheet sculptures” every morning instead of making the bed. ;-)

      But I got it from!

  3. Carmon says:

    Good job for talking about this, Stacy! I would also mention that getting hormones tested if you are heading into menopause, and considering hormone replacement therapy with a doctor who knows what he is doing can be very helpful for some. Even compared to 10 years ago, great advances have been made in this area, and it is so sad when middle-aged married people let their love wither and die because desire is difficult to maintain. We have seen too much of that.

    • Gina Glenn says:

      This is so important and I agree with working with a medical (wholistic or otherwise) person you trust. Don’t try to “guess” what may be going on with your hormones.

  4. Tanya says:

    I am very thankful for women like you who discreetly write about this topic that is SO very important in nurturing a marriage! Not to mention, SO lacking in many marriages today! VERY well done, Stacy! May the Lord bless every marriage of every woman who reads this article when they apply it to their own lives. I’m blessed to have a marriage that is strong, only by the grace of God, but I know that it takes a lot of work in nurturing! It takes effort & time & commitment! For some of you, reading this article is a start. If you try it & it “seems” to fail, try again, another time. Then again, another time! Don’t give up! Your husband will love you for it! ;) ?

  5. Cathy says:

    Bravo! Thank you for tackling this subject so tastefully. Being a “senior” does NOT mean you are dead yet! However, menopause can really do a number on some people and I seem to be one of them. My sister sailed through menopause with very little difficulties. I am new to Young Living Essential oils but have embraced them whole heartedly. Can’t wait to try some of your suggestions.

  6. Kim says:

    On the call that I was on tonight, it was mentioned that Blue Spruce & Ylang Ylang used together can be great for women, and Blue Spruce and Hong Kuai (one of the new exotic oils) is great for men! Also, Endogize can be great for both men and women in this area when used with Blue Spruce. Hope that helps someone!
    And thank you for posting this!

  7. Lindsey says:

    What does the vodka do in the pillow spray? Could it be done without the vodka or does it give it a special something? Thanks for your response.

    • Stacy McDonald says:

      You can leave the vodka out if you want. It helps to disperse the oils and takes care of any bacteria in the water (the oils do this too, but they sometimes float on top of the water). But if you’re using it quickly and using purified water, just shake well before spraying.

  8. Gina Glenn says:

    Thank you for the ideas. I especially love the idea of a pillow spray.

  9. Angie Newhouse says:

    Beautiful job addressing a subject that is too often not discussed for fear of crossing the boundary of Godly Woman to Harlot! While most married women realize the marital bed is and can be the most sensual, restful, envigorating and intimate place in your home. Some of us just need a gentle reminder. Thank you for an awesome text! May God continue to bless.

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