February 3, 2014 by Stacy McDonald
WARNING: The intended audience for this post is married women. While I have attempted to present the topic of intimacy and essential oils with discretion, please enter at your own risk.
Do Not Awaken Love Before its Time…
I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
Do not stir up nor awaken love
Until it pleases. (Song of Solomon 2:7)
…but once the time has come, stir things up with essential oils!
The Song of Solomon offers a poetic vignette of marital intimacy in all of its glory—in all of its purity, eagerness, and beauty…and in all of its passion! As young girls grow into women, God gifts them with tender emotions and powerful hormones, both of which support and promote God’s sovereign purpose of marriage and fertility within a loving covenant relationship.
Young women of all ages do well to heed the warning given to the daughters of Jerusalem not to stir love before it is lawfully able to be fulfilled, but what about after the celebration—after the consummation of marriage? What about pregnancy, and babies, and hormone fluctuations, and bills, and PMS, and stress…and what about menopause?
Prince Charming may have awakened his beloved, and they may have both enjoyed a full season of fervent, zealous intimacy together; but, what happens if Sleeping Beauty eventually falls asleep again? And this time a simple kiss isn’t doing the trick?
Try not to blush while I share with you a few ways essential oils might be used to rouse and stimulate the sleepy libido.
A Healthy Balance
“I just have no energy.” “I feel like I’m in a fog all the time.” “When I said I couldn’t wait to get to bed tonight, he thought I was flirting, but I meant to sleep!”
Does any of this sound familiar?
When a woman’s hormones are out of balance, it upsets the whole apple cart. She’ll often experience fatigue, vaginal dryness, low libido, fertility issues, hot flashes, insomnia, weight gain, hair loss, brain fog, irregular periods, and other symptoms.
These problems can put a damper on anyone’s love life, and obviously it can affect fertility for a number of reasons. If you’re experiencing one or more of these symptoms, please consider visiting an integrative doctor to have your progesterone checked, as well as your thyroid and cortisol levels, and to explore other ways your body may be out of balance.
Make sure that you’re getting plenty of sleep (this may mean a short nap during the day); eating nutritious, fresh, whole foods; and getting some sort of daily exercise. Also, check out the following essential oils and essential oil-infused supplements that have helped some women I interviewed balance their hormones and increase their energy levels:
Progessence Plus, Prenelone, Prenelone Plus, Sage, Marjoram, Clary Sage, Dragon Time, Mister, Lady Sclereol, Sclaressence, Thyromin, NingXia Red, Master Formula HERS, Super B, Vitamin D, Super C, Essentialzyme, Life 5, Omegagize, Endoflex, EnRgee, Frankincense
Preparing a “Spicy” Bed with Essential Oils
“I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon…” (Proverbs 7:17)
You may not think the above verse is the best promo for an aromatic marriage bed; since, in this case, it references the actions of an adulteress. However, I included it because it does reveal the ancient custom of scenting the bed chamber as an enticing foretaste of sensual pleasure.
Just as lingerie may be used for good or for evil, so might the exotic scents and sensations of essential oils. And why shouldn’t the marriage bed be the most aromatically rich, exciting, and pleasing bed there is?
I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the lock. (Song of Solomon 5:5)
Aside from medical reasons, many times, both men and woman may lose their desire for intimacy due to exhaustion, stress, depression, or anxiety. So, choosing essential oils that will help a couple to relax, while simultaneously stimulating the emotions or hormones, may be the best choice for awakening healthy intimacy.
Most “sensually inspiring” essential oils work in part by initiating a warm sensation, stimulating the body and arousing passion with their rich, exotic aroma of spicy or floral notes.
Historically, the euphoric properties of oils like ylang ylang, myrrh, sandalwood, rose, and patchouli have been used to enhance intimacy aromatically and topically. Myrrh, which in my opinion smells best when blended with other oils, is mentioned seven times in the Song of Solomon! Is it any wonder that some believe Myrrh can be helpful for balancing hormones?
“His cheeks are like a bed of spices,
Banks of scented herbs.
His lips are lilies,
Dripping liquid myrrh.” – Song of Solomon 5:13
Think ahead by preparing and planning for your evening. Start by cleaning your bedroom (I suggest essential oil-based Thieves Household Cleaner). Get rid of clutter (or at least move it elsewhere). Vacuum, dust, wash sheets and linens, and make sure the room feels fresh and clean.
Now prepare your sheets and linens by scenting them with something exotic. I suggest making the following pillow spray using sandalwood, patchouli, ylang ylang, or Sensation.
Exotic Pillow Spray
25 drops essential oils
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. purified water
2 oz. glass spray bottle
Remember to consider all five senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell). Scatter unscented soy or beeswax candles around the room. Turn off electronic lighting, computers, phones, etc. Play soft classical music, creating a haven of peace.
Decide which massage oils you’re going to use and place them in pretty bottles on a decorative tray beside fresh flowers or herbs. You may also want to have on hand glasses for drinks, dark chocolate, fresh berries etc. Prepare any other massage tools you’ll want to use.
Just before beginning your evening, you may want to start with a warm, lightly scented bath. Add the same oils you used for your pillow spray to some Epsom salts before adding to bath water.
You may want to warm your massage oil in a small electric dip warmer ahead of time. Personally, I like to make sure my essential oils are never heated, so that they retain their therapeutic qualities. Because of that, if you want to heat your carrier oil, I suggest applying it to the skin separately from the essential oils.
Scent-sual Massage Oil
30 drops – Cedarwood
20 drops – Clary Sage
10 drops – Ylang Ylang
6 drops – Patchouli
1 drop – Myrrh or Frankincense
4 oz. sweet almond oil
Steamy After Bath Rub
30 drops – Neroli
10 drops – Sandalwood
5 drops – Juniper
4 drops – Ginger
4 ylang ylang
2 drops jasmine or lavender
4 oz. v6 or sweet almond oil
The Brain: The Most Important Part of Sexuality
As one mother shared with her soon-to-be-married daughter, “The marriage bed is like a playground; it is a place to have great fun together!” But, beyond fun, intimacy, and especially climax, causes the release of oxytocin, an important hormone in the brain—a hormone that is known to promote emotional bonding.
This fact, combined with the way essential oils effect the limbic system of the brain, the area that controls emotions and stores memories, makes the use of essential oils in intimacy a powerful and influential tool—a healing balm and even a protection to the marriage bed.
A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, that lies all night between my breasts. (Song of Solomon 1:13)
The Scent-sual Art of Touch and Massage
Combine the deep, intoxicating effects of essential oils with an evening of loving, sensual touch and massage to arouse intense desire between you and your husband! You will be amazed!
And remember, just like anything of value, practice makes perfect. Take the time to study and recognize his desires and prompts, and allow yourself to relax—to willingly respond and engage. Explore, feel, taste, smell, listen, watch, communicate, reveal, and enjoy!
Sandalwood, rose, neroli, and ylang ylang, as well as the Young Living blends, Present Time and Sensation are all excellent choices for massage and sensual exploration. Sandalwood’s mysterious musky aroma blends particularly well with the body’s own natural scent, making it perfect for a romantic evening. Young Living also offers a Sensation Massage Oil that is absolutely intoxicating!
Both sandalwood and rose* can be used intimately and applied directly to “sensitive” areas. Yes, really. However, because everyone is different, I would suggest having a carrier oil available (V6, olive oil, or coconut oil), just in case you or your husband find any of the oils a little too stimulating.
A woman I know recently told me that she discovered the blend Lady Sclereol helped with vaginal dryness, and its gentle warmth helped to stimulate libido when applied/massaged “directly!” Once again, while it can be used neat (undiluted), I still suggest that you have a carrier oil on hand “just in case.”
The brain often associates scents with memories; so, be ready to have flashbacks of the exotic evening you had with your beloved every time you smell sandalwood…and try not to blush in public!
As you grow older, remember that greying hair, a shifting body, and the changes that accompany menopause do not mean the end to an exciting and passionate marriage bed. In fact, all those moments of bonding, all those years of developing trust, growing together, sharing together, and “practicing” in the playground together, may mean the beginning to a whole new level of intimacy! So wake up, Sleeping Beauty! The fun has just begun!
IMPORTANT: The information contained in this article is in reference to Young Living Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils only. Lower quality oils may be toxic.
To get started using therapeutic grade essential oils with your family, I recommend purchasing a Premium Starter Kit! through The Common Scents Mom. This way, you’ll enjoy wholesale prices all the time! It includes eleven of Young Living’s most popular essential oil singles and blends, an ultrasonic diffuser (worth $100.00!), essential oil samples for sharing, and 2 NingXia Red immune boosting drinks! In addition, I’ll send you a free essential oil reference book to help you learn how to start using your essential oils! Get started now!
By the way, I am not a doctor – just a mom who uses essential oils in her own family. Please know that any information provided on The Common Scents Mom is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to prescribe, diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. It is your responsibility to educate yourself and address any health or medical needs you may have with your physician. Please seek professional help when needed.
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