April 13, 2012 by Stacy McDonald

Dating vs. Courtship

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15 Responses to “Dating vs. Courtship”

  1. Laura says:

    Good comparison :D

  2. Fantastic graphic! Spreading this around now on facebook, etc.

  3. Deborah Yuck says:

    Succinct and accurate!

    Our son married his beloved a little over a month ago after a beautiful and Christ-honouring courtship. As we were blessed and encouraged when reading other families’ accounts, we’re pleased to share their story on our blog at buildingafamilythatwillstand.com . Our most recent post is of their wedding day on March 10th, 2012, but if folk would like to read of how their courtship began, I believe our first post about it was in July, 2011.

  4. Mrs. Amy Koelln says:

    Dear Mrs. McDonald,

    Thank you for this and it comes at such an appropriate time. Recently a family member chose to “date” without family approval and eloped over 2 months ago….we just found out Easter sunday The lies, lust and lack of honoring God and family has deeply hurt my husband and I.

    Yet in comparison we have some very dear friends whose daughter has just entered a courtship with familial approval and support and it brings us great joy as we look forward to this young woman’s potential wedding day. No deception, no shame and such an encouragement to us as the parents of a young daughter.

    Your post is so very true and as we have been experiencing both sides now, I truly hope people prayerfully consider the “right” side of your post.

  5. Katie says:

    LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Yes! Can’t wait to share this with my children. When I first heard your husband speak several years ago I had no idea how to teach purity and courtship to my children. I knew the road I wanted us to walk but wasn’t sure how to get there. You both have greatly influenced, encouraged, & educated me.
    Thank you SO much!

    Many blessings your way,
    Carolyne Jimenez

  7. Thank you for posting this! Sometimes it’s nice to see definitions simplified in this way and compared point by point. Both “dating” and “courtship” are used in several different ways by Christians, both cover a broad spectrum of practices, and so it’s nice to see it defined in a way that can be discussed in a productive manner.

  8. Jody says:

    This is great! I love simplifications! We have 3 daughters who are serving within our family and church and waiting now for Godly gentlemen to come into their lives. We are new to courtship, but that is our desire. They are 19, 18, and 18 and have never had any sort of relationships with boys or men. We have families tell us that whoever finds them will have a great treasure, what a compliment and an encouragement as we seek God’s will in this area. We are much in prayer because the Godly men in our area are few, so few. Actually, we have not seen anyone yet. We are also training our son to have the Godly character that we so desire in a man. We did the “Raising Maidens of Virtue” study a few years ago and loved it! The girls’ blog name came from the book, it is listed below. Thank you for your wisdom.
    Is it OK to use your posters (for lack of better terms) on my blog? Thank you.
    Always Experiencing Him,

  9. Stacy McDonald says:

    Yes, Jody! Please feel free to us it on your blog!

    Praising the Lord with you for your blessings!

  10. Katelyn says:

    I just have a couple questions. Who came up with this? Did the author court or date? And finally, was this supposed to be an objective analysis or is it supposed to be as biased as it sounds?

  11. Stacy McDonald says:

    It’s meant to be a conversation starter. :-)

  12. Mary says:

    I wonder how you would define “dating”- my husband and I “dated”, as in went on lots of unsupervised, unchaperoned dates and made our own choice of a life partner with no assistance from our parents in the selection process. (I certainly discussed potentially serious boyfriends with my parents- but if it was only a few dates and I felt that the young man was not right for me, I saw no reason for their input) We had both dated others before. However- we 1. never even kissed until each other, much less led the promiscous lifestyle often asociated with “dating”, 2. prayerfully selected people to date with the intent of determining their marriageability, not just for recreation, 3. while we did do some really fun “recreational” dates, we also spent time, as things got more serious, wth each other’s families and serving in ministry together, and we in no way feel that our dating of each other prepared us for divorce. I think you can have pure, God-honoring relationships no matter what method you use to persue them- and it is so important to get to know future spouses one-on-one, and to realize that you are marrying the person,not (hopefully =) their family! I think quality time together apart from family is one of the things sometimes missed in the “courtship” system- though of course there are always exceptions to such generalizations! =)

  13. Mrs. Amy Koelln says:

    Dear Mrs. McDonald,

    Just wanted to share with you that the our dear friend’s daughter mentioned in my earlier comment that chose courtship in April was married on July 21st to a Godly young man. It was such a blessing and new experience for my husband and I to watch a young couple kiss for the very first time in their lives at the alter!!! Thank you again for the post. God bless.

  14. Laura says:

    There are potential pitfalls to EVERY type of way of choosing a spouse. I know a woman who repeatedly asserted that “dating is practice for divorce,” and she seemed to pride herself on the fact that HER daughters were courting, not dating. The young man that one of her daughters courted and eventually married was known –and approved of — by the young woman’s family for years before the marriage took place, and yet he has turned out to be a huge disappointment character-wise in the marriage. Perhaps the fact that he was “protected” by his family, who controlled pretty much every aspect of his life, prevented him from showing his true colors before he said “I do.” As believers, we are ALL protected by God, Who sovereignly controls all things, and NO situation is truly “random.” We need to prayerfully seek His perfect plan for each individual situation. It should not be a one-size-fits-all decision.

  15. eric Bates says:

    Today marks 3 years my wife and I have been married. The Presence of the Lord in a courting process works wonders.

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