February 12, 2012 by Stacy McDonald

What Do Your Eyes Say?

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Sometimes I see photos on Facebook or blogs from nice Christian girls who would never dress or behave immodestly, but who seem to be trying to imitate expressions or poses they’ve seen in worldly magazines or movies. Ladies, think about what you want to communicate! What are your eyes saying about yourself and the God you serve? Your demeanor speaks louder than you think.

Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 2:9 that women are to “Adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…” Anyone know what shamefacedness means? It literally means bashful – not wanting to bring inappropriate attention.

Now, what kind of look did the Proverbs 7 woman have when she was trying to entice the young man? Aside from having the attire of a harlot, Scripture says that she had an impudent face. Impudent. Do you know what that means? My Bible software defines it as shameless. Brazen. Shameless is the very opposite of shamefacedness.

I challenge you to go through your photos and ask yourself, “Would I send this photo to my grandfather to put on his fireplace?” If not, why?

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19 Responses to “What Do Your Eyes Say?”

  1. Crissy says:

    Thank you for sharing this! It really got me thinking about the pictures I have taken and posted of myself. I hope I am not sending out a wrong message. I will be looking through them :) God Bless you!

  2. Thandi says:

    Reminds of the Biblical phrase about wanton eyes…Good challenge! Modesty is more than about dressing.

  3. Thandi says:

    LOL, the picture hadn’t come up when I hit the “submit comment’ button!

  4. Sola says:

    I certainly can see where you’re coming from; eyes can say a lot. From flirtatious to demure. Couple that with how you smile and how you hold your head – generally tilted to one side (how those women in the photos are pictured), can say a lot without you actually speaking.

    But, now I take a look at your photo Stacy and those pictures aren’t that different from yours. Take a close look, you have your head tilted to one side, your hand placed delicately on your shoulder; that could be construed as a seductive pose.

    I know you probably wont publish my comment, but seriously, take a look at your photo. Then think deeply about your post. Seduction might not have been your intent, but it’s right there in your pose. Maybe it might be time to change that picture, especially if it is giving the wrong message.

  5. Stacy McDonald says:

    Hi Sola –

    My husband chose that photo as my profile pic when I started this blog, and personally I can’t imagine how anyone could get “seduction” from it. However, since it seems to have communicated something different to you, I will ask a few godly women I know and get their opinion. Either way, it’s probably time to change the photo, since it was taken about 10 years ago! LOL!!! Thanks for your input.

  6. Jennifer says:

    Stacy’s photo is welcoming, not “come on boys” beckoning.

  7. Erin says:

    There is something about looking up when one’s chin is down, it has that “come hither” look. Most of the examples are like that, along with pouty lips or a half smile rather than a full smile.

    It is good to keep in mind that how one appears in a photograph isn’t necessarily related to how she feels while it is taken. I once did some modeling for a local photographer…she positioned me until I felt ridiculous. It was not comfortable and I felt awkward and silly and there was nothing suggestive at all in the position of my head, hands and body. When I saw the photos I wanted to die. I had no idea my face and posture was so seductive. Lighting and head position do so much to a photograph. We need to be very cautious about what we put before others.

  8. Marisa.A.Aguilar says:

    My opinion on your photo: friendly and feminine. Not seductive or worldly. I think it is nice!

  9. Elle says:

    Do you realize that a lot of men find “bashfulness” to be sexy? It’s a way to be flirty. Have you thought about how casting one’s eyes down but for the briefest glimpses up comes off as coy, and that is alluring to MANY men? It indicates having a secret, and that is a big turn-on for a lot of people. It’s part of why the Mona Lisa has captivated people for centuries. She’s not sexy by any means, but the bashful look on her face makes it seem like she has a secret, and that’s what comes across when someone looks bashful.

    How do you suggest handling the sex appeal that comes with bashfulness?

  10. Stacy McDonald says:

    Hi Elle,

    Some men would be turned on by a chihuahua. Sorry to be blunt; but, this post isn’t about taking responsibility for the sins or perversions of others. It’s about communicating Christ. It’s about making an effort to present a chaste demeanor.

    Since Scripture says specifically that women are to adorn themselves “in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…” it surely means something. I’m sure you’re not implying that we should disregard this verse because some men may think godly modesty is “sexy.” By the way, I don’t think many men would be tempted to lust by godly, sober, shamefacedness (bashfulness). Shamefacedness is very different from being coy. Being coy is deceptive. It’s pretending to be modest: “Making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring but is often regarded as irritating.”

    I spoke to several godly women I know and trust and they made some good points. The “come hither” look usually shows up in the eyes. Which makes sense in light of what Scripture says about a woman “alluring” men with her eyelids. It is specifically talking about her purposeful efforts; not her innocent winsomeness. :-)

    However, seduction is not always on the mind or heart of a girl being photographed, but it’s what comes out in the photo. Sometimes it’s the photographer who is encouraging the various “looks;” other times it’s the fact that the girl is simply mimicking what she’s seen from ads or Hollywood. It’s up to us as Christian women to consider what we’re communicating to others. And it’s up to older Christian women to teach the young women to be chaste – and that includes what young Christian women are communicating in their photos.

    This is one of those issues where you’re going to have to grasp the spirit of the law, rather than the letter of it.

  11. Catie says:

    “This is one of those issues where you’re going to have to grasp the spirit of the law, rather than the letter of it.”

    I’m glad you said that, Stacy. Seriously, I read some of these comments and I have to laugh. To me, your post was saying, “Double check yourself. Be careful what your INTENT is.”

  12. Shanniel Shakespeare says:

    I must say that I do not share the same sentiments as Sola. Anyhoo, I am constantly encouraged and challenged when I read your posts. This one is no different. I sometimes feel,esp when I go on Facebook, that I need to pose a certain way else people won’t press the like button for my pics. I am realizing that the opinions of people don’t matter. If God is not pleased and represented by whatever I do, then it is not worth it. I will, as a result be taking a look at my pics and deleting the ones that are not of God. Thank you

  13. Amber says:

    Oh my WORD! Yes, I actually said it out loud just now as I read Sola’s comment on here. To me, what SHE said is twisted! Stacy, in no way ever, ever, ever have you come across that way – seductive. My gracious! From the first time I ever found your lovely blog to every time I read here today, I have always thought that you possess a modest, feminine look that is not seen so much in today’s world. You are one of the women that I look up to the most, and I feel as if someone has just insulted my mother by the comments made above. Ladies, you reeeeeally need to consider your words before you speak!

    That aside, my thoughts on your actual blog post here are spot on!!! Wow, I am just amazed and inspired by your insight and willingness to share and teach these things. You are helping so many women see things in a better way! I personally think that the pictures above of the models and actresses are embarrassing, something that only their husbands should see in the bedroom. And I am just as embarrassed when I see friends on facebook that claim to be Christian, yet they feel the need to post pictures of themselves very similarly. We need a heart change!

  14. Janet says:

    Isaiah 6:16-17 says “Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet. There the LORD will smite…..”

    We, as women, do have a responsibility to our homes and families, culture and nation to set the boundaries with modesty and chastenes—the LORD says so. We do need a heart change!!!

  15. Aaliyah says:

    Great Post!

  16. Carla Anne says:

    Hi all! This is my first time to this blog and I quite love this post! Thanks for a good one.

    The truth is, as soon as I read the post I looked up and re-evaluated the blog photo of the girls and then went over to evaluate your photo since I’ve never been here before.

    My first reaction was… those eyes are the eyes of a friend. Such an open face with welcome written all over it!

    But then I read the comments… I think what we have going here is the problem we have with most things that are godly but have been twisted by the enemy and sin. There is nothing wrong with tilting the head. Nothing wrong with putting my hand on my shoulder. We cannot make a formula for godliness! When we put rules on godliness we end up with legalism – and we’ll find all the loopholes!!

    On the contrary, we need first to be concerned with the heart. Is my heart looking to seduce? Is my heart pursuing godliness and a more intimate relationship with Jesus? If so… then my ‘look’ will reflect that. If my pose or photo does end up indicating something other than the purity I seek, I hope that I am humble enough to accept it and ditch the photo.

    AND… I fully agree… we need to be careful what we post online. Especially for those of us who proclaim Christ. We cannot be too careful, but neither can we be bound by rules not ordained by Christ. Jesus said nothing about not having pretty eyes, or not using our eyes to communicate. NO… He gave us eyes for that reason! What we need to be sure is that what we communicate with our eyes is pure and holy.

    Great post. I love the conversation. Thanks!

  17. lulu says:

    Lots of dark eye makeup can be construed as saying,”I’m a loose woman”. The laidies at the top of the page all have dark eyeliner liing thier eyes. I have nothing against eyeliner per se,( it’s my favorite cosmetic to use, actually), but when your eyes say, prostitute, instead of pretty, you’ve got a problem. Think of Miley Cyrus, bless her heart or Katy Perry. Or a prostitute. Just watch it!

  18. danny says:

    who are to judge others. i love god and all of god’s creations, and he says not to judge others by the way they dress and act. YOU’RE not God so keep to yourselves and love others.

  19. Stacy McDonald says:

    Hi Danny,

    I’m afraid you had to “judge” me to even come to the conclusion that I was judging. ;-) Teaching younger women how they should behave is a command to older women. We are told to admonish the younger women “to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2:5

    This post was an appeal to young women to be discreet and chaste. Welcome to my blog!

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