July 29, 2010 by Stacy McDonald
Smoking Keyboards and Razor-mouthed Christians
Why is it that so many Christians (many whose writings I usually appreciate) seem to think it’s cool to ignore 1 Corinthians 13:1 while “proclaiming the truth” (as if love equals weakness). Truth is paramount; however, humility and love must undergird all of our words. And the good of the hearer to the glory of God must be our motive.
Malicious sarcasm, abrasive speech, and arrogant “rightness” have no place in the delivery of the Word of God, and only demonstrate prideful motives.
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal…” (1 Corinthians 13:1)
Regardless of a man’s eloquent speech, or his “right-on” blog posts, if he speaks his words without love, they fall on our ears like a rusty, out-of-tune trumpet. Instead of the music acting as a balm to our weary souls, we are assaulted by a cacophony of clanging. We run from the room with our ears covered not because music is bad, but because of the rusty trumpet that fails to communicate any sort of melody!
Perhaps, more often than not, people don’t “get” what we’re saying because we’ve been more concerned about being right than we have been about getting to the heart of the hearer. Our presentation of any truth should be immersed in the love of Christ.
Each of us must walk worthy of our calling: “With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3, NKJV)
And as we present the truth to others, including our children, we “must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.” (2 Timothy 2:24-26, NKJV)
And for the record, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t boldly and unashamedly proclaim the truth of God’s Word. It just means that we don’t pridefully use “the truth” to destroy one another. Because if we do, we prove that the truth is not in us.
“But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” (1 John 2:11, ESV)
This doesn’t mean that if I blow it, I am not a Christian. But it does mean that if I continue to walk in a way that communicates a distinct lack of love for my brother, my sinful heart is exposed and I better repent.
And let us all avoid dissensions and quarrels about the law, and commit to firmly communicating the truth – firmly, boldly, graciously, and always, always in love.
“But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” (Titus 3:9-11, ESV)
And as far as the Internet goes, keep in mind that unbelievers are watching. We will either hallow His name or cause it to be blasphemed among the cyber-heathen.
Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath. And if you can’t find a soft answer, perhaps you should walk away. I’ve had to do that. I can slip into sarcasm very easily (you should see all the “great replies” that dance through my head when someone is being snippy. Thankfully, through conviction and consequence, God is teaching me to guard my tongue…and my keyboard. So, let’s pray for each other because…
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;” (1 Corinthians 13:4-6,)
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24 Responses to “Smoking Keyboards and Razor-mouthed Christians”
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wow, wonderful…glad I found your blog! I needed to hear this lately…it upsets me so what is going on in our country…timely response!
What a wonderful post. I definitely needed these reminders … you're absolutely right that humility and love must undergird ALL our words. Thank you so much for such a beautiful exposition.
Blessings,
Luci
a tranquil heart
Thank you for pointing out these Scriptural truths! It reminded me that truth belongs to God, and must be used in His service – the building of His kingdom, which is ruled by His law of love.
When I say things I know to be true, yet without a desire for God's glory and the good of others, I am using God's gift of truth for my own ends – pride, self-glorification etc. – and not His. This is perversion! To use God's gifts for my own rebellious ends is nothing less than sin and service to the evil one.
I'll need to remember this. Blessings to you!
Powerful post – the key word – grace. I've had a few moments that I regret at the keyboard…God has used it to teach me a few lessons. One of the biggest has been not answering those who criticize me.
Proverbs 26:4 says "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself."
But THEN look at the very next verse Proverbs 26:5 says "Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes."
So some days I struggle – don't answer the "fool" or answer the "fool"…the key for me is to wait 24 hours and pray on my response. Usually by the next day, I don't care so much and it's not worth the time. If I do respond after the 24 hours I am usually more level headed and had time to run it all by my husband. He is really good at helping me discern who I should respond to – 99% of the time I don't bother!
Great post!
Courtney
Amen and Amen!!!!!
Unfortunately I have seen (more than a few times) Christian women bashing each other in the name of the "truth". This is well said and we all need to learn love for one another even when we disagree!
Blessings to you!!
Thank you for that reminder
In HIS Keeping,
Mrs.B
Boy, don't I know about sarcasm. When I read words that are sharp verbal thorns from others, my own tongue becomes razor edged in a micro-second. Some things are worth getting fired up and even fierce about; I still recall the fiery vehemence with which I responded to the calm, oil-slick way certain liberals defended partial birth abortion. Yet other times, I'd look up my former comments to people disagreeing about something in the Bible, something I felt strongly about, and wince to the point of pain at my unkindness. It never ceases to amaze me how anger warps other people's meanings, how it blinds my eyes to the sometimes gentle or calm speech of others, because they speak of something I'm spiritually sore about. Even now, I see some unkindly-spoken people upheld as great Christian teachers. One man who I've heard described as "one of the most kind and honest people for God" is syrupy sweet when speaking to those of his own mindset and crassly nasty at those who disagree. There's a woman writer at a celebrated website, one known for promoting modesty and gentle spirits, who speaks always with sarcasm and often with scathing hatred. I can't bear the presence of such people, yet I always have to remind myself that if I want change, I need to do it for myself as well. One reminder of my many former cutting comments is all I need to be convicted of this.
This was a very good post… and, admittedly, something that I have to be careful of myself on my own blog. Sometimes passion concerning a certain topic can lead to a heated expression of my point of view. I hope that my own posts will always reflect an added self-examination as yours have. Many blessings!
Thank you so much for this reminder!!! I think it's easier for me to be nice in writing though. It's those snappy comments that come flying out of my mouth that get me. Sometimes I think when my kids aren't being obedient I need to put duct tape over my own mouth because the things I say in response are not automatically loving!
A very timely blog post for me. I realized that sarcasm, clothed in righteousness, was not as becoming as I once thought when my children started honing their skills. I have had to stop frequenting several thought provoking blogs due to the sarcastic banter of both the authors and the readers who leave comments.
Humility, Grace and Love are much more appealing and help my attitude and outlook ten times more than sarcasm.
Thank you for posting.
Blessings!
I appreciate people who can come out and say something straight. In the Christian Community it sometimes seems that we (especially women) become so concerned with being loving that the conversation at the table boils down to discussing cooking methods and babies.
But on the other side there are some Christian leaders that I can't read, even when I agree with them because the way they put things is so condescending and arrogant.
A balance is so hard to achieve at times.
I have gone to a site (at least one) that I believe you are speaking of here Stacy, and I am a little perplexed. Maybe you can help straighten me out. Why would we believe that someone who works really hard to twist the Scriptures, falsely accuses other Christians and banters on for days with sharp criticisms and falsehoods, is a Christian to begin with. Would Jesus really allow one of His own to do this? I can see someone making a mistake and then repenting, but really, this has gone on for years! I can also see someone going privately to another they disagree with and then agreeing to just lovingly disagree. I always believed that if someone was truly a Christian and got off the path, that Christ would fetch them back and they would repent and see their sin!?! No? I personally cannot read 99% of the things on these blogs, as it stirs me up and I waste time writing comments I never send. I sit and write these enormously long comments, telling the others how wrong they are and it goes on and on and then I realize that I am not responding in the best way, delete it all and realize how much time I have wasted. I pray God truly save those who are lost and that He sanctify the rest, who claim His Name, but bring His Church such shame. (If that is possible to be a Christian and do!) It is one thing to disagree and quite another to launch outright war through public blogs that contain bitterness and sin. Yours is a breath of fresh air amid such division. I thank God for the strength He has given you to endure.
Amen, Sister! I loved this post. We are to be loving and gentle. No one will hear us otherwise. Avoid godless chatter, and divisive speech.
People need to hear this. Christian blogs get ugly when we don't follow these principles.
All that is shown is our own self-righteousness.
I recently wrote about this as one of my first blog posts on here this summer. http://tayespace.blogspot.com/2010/07/emotional-terrorism-in-name-of-truth.html
I am trying hard to find a balance in this area–wanting to be real and not syrupy, and not being brutal. Some people think you are brutal regardless of your delivery if they don't like what you say, so sometimes what is considered rude is subjective and depends on the people you are speaking to.
Stacy,
This is my first visit to your blog! I came from Theresa's blog-Being Refined by Silver and I'm glad I stopped by.
Balancing truth in love is the theme of my blog! Also, the picture you used for this post is also on my blog and is what caught my eye! Lol
I look forward to joining your Google Connect and reading more!
Have a blessed week!
right, let’s all be whimps for Jesus….get a life….if you are called or moved to speak or write and you don’t happen to sugar coat it enough for the judemental slobs like the idiot who penned this article, then you’re not a real Christian. I say to that; “Up yours.” We are in a war for our existence! Follow the authors flawed, stupid mentality and the muslims would have killed Chrisiandom off completely in the 13th century. My thoughts to the auhtor…….”Go get a job.”
Ah, Stacy, such wisdom in your post. “Christians” give Christianity a black eye and a bad name so often in the name of “love”. When viewed from afar, the arrogance, pride and often legalistic mindset is easily seen being spewed forth by the very ones claiming a heart for Christ.
Hi Larry,
Thank you for demonstrating my point. :-)
THANKYOU!!!
Exactly what I needed during a time of unrest. Thank you!
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[...] love equal weakness? Read Smoking Keyboards And Razor-mouthed Christians and let me know what you think. I think that even the most eloquent speech can hide a [...]
The problem I have is that “truth” is easy to define but “love” is whatever someone says it is. By that I mean, if someone speaks the truth to a person, and that person is hurt by the truth, then that person will say that the speaker was unloving. Case closed. I fear that many will read what Stacy says here and assume that truth never hurts and hurts can’t be loving.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend…”
It seems perfectly acceptable for the verse to mean something like this, “Because of love, speak the truth”. Lies are from the devil – which pretty much rules out love.
To think that “speak the truth in love” means that love is an adverb, modifying the way a person speaks, as in “speak the truth in a loving way” dilutes the verse or makes in almost nonsensical because there is no definition of how speech can be “loving”.
Stacy, how do you define truth-telling that is done “in love” How can a person know? Naturally motive is an indicator. If the purpose of speaking is to tear down, it probably isn’t good. But motives are not audible. Is there an objective way to determine whether someone is being “loving” in their truth-telling? I think the task is impossible. It leaves the hearer as the judge of the speaker, based upon the hearer’s perception or guidelines for what constitutes “love”. That is dangerous territory, as it can’t be measured against the objective standard of God’s Word, as truth can.
Sometimes motives are audible. And there are times when the speaker has good ones but speaks in frusteration and more sharply than they should. In one of my fav shows, a woman told her best friend that she was having a friendly lunch with an old boyfriend who she’d had multiple break-ups with. Her friend got upset and told her that every time she was with him she become a needy, pathetic person. Obviously not the best approach.
Hi Terri –
That is a good question. While we can’t judge the motives of others, we can certainly pray and ask God to help us examine our own motives. That was the point of the article. We should always graciously assume the best of others. If we did that, coupled with speaking the truth in love (with loving motives and gracious words, even if they’re strong words), then a lot of conflict would be avoided.