February 15, 2010 by Stacy McDonald
I Haven’t Met You Yet…But I’ve Kept Busy with Lots of Others…
I was having a conversation this morning with my daughters (and our friend, Melinda) over the lyrics to the song, Haven’t Met You Yet by Michael Buble. I listened to the song and noticed how the happy-go-lucky melody would attract young people.
But I’d like to challenge my children (and yours) to think critically before accidentally absorbing the philosophies of the world. Imagine if someone from the dregs of society approached you and said, “Repeat after me.” What would you do? Would you blindly repeat whatever they said; or would you analyze the words first, making sure you agree with the message before you ever repeated it?
[By the way, I'm not suggesting that Michael Buble is the dregs of society. In fact, I had never heard of him before today. But, often, the music industry that literally indoctrinates many of our children represents a side life we wouldn't normally want to imitate.]
Exactly what we are “repeating” is something we need to consider when choosing music. Let’s examine just a few of the lines from this song:
I’m Not Surprised Not Everything Lasts I’ve Broken My Heart So Many Times, I Stop Keeping Track.
Is that the way it has to be? Is that the way it should be? It sounds to me like the philosophy of the world – the dating culture we’ve chosen to walk away from. Here’s a guy who believes that “not everything lasts.” He’s stopped keeping track of the numerous failed relationships he’s had – and he’s “not surprised” because this is what he’s grown to expect. He has spent his time practicing for divorce, so it’s very likely that this is what he’ll be good at.
And I wonder, once he finally meets the imaginary girl he’s singing to, what will she think of the fact that he’s been with so many girls that he’s lost count? And does he imagine that while he sings these words of bizarre affection to her, she is going through just as many guys? Ewwww…
And I Know Someday That It’ll All Turn Out You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
This seems to always be the pie-in-the-sky mantra of pop music. “My life is full of broken dreams, broken relationships, and meaningless days, but when I meet that ‘someone special’ everything will go from black and white to color – he/she will make everything all right! The flowers will bloom, morning will break, and my life will finally have meaning. Not only that, but I will be changed from a selfish person into a giving person…”
And I Promise You Kid That I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get I Just Haven’t Met You Yet…
“But, for now, since I ‘haven’t met you yet,’ I’ll go right on being selfish because…”
Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
Sadly, most people don’t enter marriage seeking to give; they go into it looking for what they’re going to get. How is that other person going to make me feel good? How are they going to please me? How are they going to make everything all right?
It’s classic idolatry. Of course they are disappointed, because the only satisfier of our souls is Jesus. The only thing that will change us is Grace. If you weren’t a giver before marriage, you won’t magically become one after marriage. If life was full of discontent and dissatisfaction before marriage, just wait until after you’ve “become one” with another sinner!
Do we, as Christians, want to perpetuate a false message that having multiple (failed) relationships while dreaming of Mr. or Mrs. Right is part of who we are or how we live? Or do we want to communicate and inspire the beauty of purity; a heart that is guarded; satisfaction in Jesus alone; and patience as we wait for God’s perfect choice for us?
“Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good…” (3 John 11)
Let’s change the message to “I haven’t met you yet, but I’m guarding my heart and my purity until God brings us together.” Let the world “repeat after us” what is good and holy, rather than us “repeat after them” what sounds good and has a fun beat. I’m just sayin’.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God …” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Song of Solomon 2:7 )
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26 Responses to “I Haven’t Met You Yet…But I’ve Kept Busy with Lots of Others…”
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It's funny you should mention songs and how they draw the younger crowd despite the lyrics. A young lady I am friends with (she's 16) was singing the country song, "Strawberry Wine" and saying how much she loved it. I told her, "I don't like it." She asked why and I told her what the lyrics meant (17 year old girl gets drunk on strawberry wine with her boyfriend and loses her virginity only to have him go off to college and never see her again.) She was surprised. I've heard her sing other catchy songs with totally inappropriate lyrics and not realize what she's singing, like Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." While I usually leave such things up to her mother, I will speak up if I feel I need to.
This post was most encouraging. Even as Christians, it can be so easy to fall into the trap of repeating words in songs with which we utterly disagree. One morning I woke up with distasteful lyrics on my mind and I despised the way that felt. My prayer before falling asleep is always that I will think first of my wonderful Lord and Savior when I awaken. I realized however that what I was putting into my mind the previous day or week was being continually tossed about and regurgitated into my thoughts at various times, affecting even my fervent prayer. What helped me immensely was refusing to allow a station to play on my radio that did not fit the description of positive, encouraging, Christian music.
I completely agree we need to take seriously the words that come out of our mouths whether they are deeply contemplated or thoughtless. Some biblical support for this topic:
Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.”
Proverbs 16:23 “The heart of the wise teaches his mouth and adds learning to his lips.”
Matthew 15:18 “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.”
Luke 6:45 “…for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.”-NASB
“…For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks”-NKJ
There are plenty of songs I can think of where I've done the same thing. You like the beat or there are a few catchy phrases and you ignore the rest.
The very worst, to my recollection, happened before I was a Christian, when I was a young teen. My cousin and I were singing, "We Don't Need No Education" by Pink Floyd. My uncle flipped out when he heard us, and did NOT buy our line, "We only like it for the music." LOL
Also, I used to love Bob Dylan's Blowin' in the Wind sung by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Beautiful tune, lovely harmony. But I only recently "snapped" to the politcal message they were sending to that generation. LOL Call me slow.
I think it's so important to pay attention to what we "proclaim," whether it's purposeful or not.
I remember when Veggie Tales first came out there was a song with the lines, "I don't love my mom or my dad, just the bunny." And "I won't go to church! And I won't go to school! That stuff is for sissies, but bunnies are cool!"
It was portrayed as a "bad thing" and all; but the problem was the song had an extremely catchy tune, so little children were walking around singing these things out loud! I even caught myself humming it! LOL
Parents, of course complained to Big Idea, and they changed the words.
"Vischer said that the lesson, that he learned was to never mix negative lyrics with a catchy tune, since children will sing the song irrespective of the content."
But it just goes to show you how often we don't "think" through what we're singing, or giving our children to say/sing.
I remember thinking that way. That after I'd met my husband-to-be, I'd forget all the other guys I'd dated- hearts I'd broken and times my heart had been broken. Wrong!!
It's something they don't tell you: you will remember it all and remember them all long after you've met Mr. Right.
And speaking of songs, one of my girls asked me, after watching a Strawberry Shortcake movie: Can anything be lost forever?
I said yes.
(confused look) The song says "nothing's ever lost forever".
Well, sweetie, those words are cute, but wrong. Some things are lost forever.
Loved the post Stacy. That's how ideas work. Philosophers quote the ideas, the artists/media give the ideas full credence by compelling means, and then the people live them out.
It's happened all throughout history. Powerful stuff.
so beautifully written~ I quite enjoyed reading this post and the beautiful Biblical message you are sharing!
I'm so glad your "just sayin'"
Amen! The tune is catchy, but the message is terrible! Our kids don't have to live with heartbreak, or give pieces of themselves away to people who won't be there to care for them. I want more for my children.
I tell my children to enjoy music, but don't ignore it's power, and don't listen without really hearing. The best songs have real meaning.
This is the most challenging post I've read on a blog, ever. I really enjoy country music, and I need to move away from it because of the sex and the cussing. When we fostered kids, we didn't listen to anything racy at all, and we were the better for it. However, now that we're just a couple again, we've gone back into the music because, after all, we're old enough to understand that the ideas aren't ok… and we won't be hurt by it, right? But we are, and we need to change it, because it doesn't please the Lord.
Thanks, Stacy.
Amen!! Stacy McDonald you are the bomb! May the Lord keep blessing you to speak the Truth with boldness!
Thank you for 'just sayin' Stacy! For the very reason of avoiding immoral secular music; when our family travels in the car, we purposely do NOT listen to the radio, but play our childrens Bible songs CD instead. Even we parents can often be heard humming 'Joshua fought the battle of Jericho'!
Also I find that the lyrics you listed do indeed contribute to a warped sense of love and marriage…
…But I must admit that when I became a believer that my black and white did become colour! And He did change me!
Thank You – God Bless
This has been a lesson hard learned by yours truly…. Since high school I've gone up and down on the music wave: the high of positive, Christian music only, and the low of rock'n'roll and indie. Recently I've found myself singing or humming along to a country song, only to realize it's all about heartbreak–and why would happily married me want to be chanting sentiments such as that??
Over Christmas break while visiting the in-laws, I attempted to express the effect of music on one's subconscious (not to mention *conscious* thought as well!) to my 17 year old sister-in-law, who was having way too much fun with Britney Spear's new "1-2-3" song and Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," without much immediate effect. I can only pray that as she and I travel the music wave, my past experiences can be an encouragement to her to evaluate every message she allows into her precious mind….
EXCELLENT!
I have (sadly and laboriously) been going through meaningless lyrics with my five young adults at home who like the 'tunes' but seem obliviously unaware that the subtle be-bopping LYRICS ARE indoctrinating their hearts…making them callous to sin!
I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel here. I think I have three of the five convinced that just because the words SOUND poetic does not mean they are 'good'. Smile.
A great topic!
Thanks for handling it in a logical straight forward way.
God bless you.
May many hearts be turned back to the One True Heart.
Sincerely,
Mrs. RBC
I appreciate how you share that music has the power to awaken love before its time. Should our young daughters (or sons) be crooning about the ups and downs of romantic love? I know as a young girl I listened to every 80's song that came on the radio and sang it with zeal, but I want something better for my children. Thank you, Stacey.
Yeah, when you think of all the stupid lyrics — "Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?" Or, "Cecilia, I get up to wash my face, when I come back to bed, someone's taken my place!" Or, "Oh what a night…you know, I didn't even know her name!" All glorifying promiscuity or even sex with strangers. How perverted. If people were confronted with it IN REAL LIFE, I don't think they would like it one bit, but it is fun to get vicarious thrills thinking about it or singing about it or seeing it on film. God help us.
Yes, I remember as a teen, memorizing these lyrics and not even thinking about what they meant. I remember my dad telling me, in his Brooklyn accent, "Toin that awf!" (translation: turn that off) about The Union Gap's song "Young Girl" because it seemed to him to suggest wrongful relations with a minor!
Most of us never thought about any of that stuff.
Amen!
Thank you for the delicious breath of fresh air.
I just want to add that the same mindless singing goes with Christian songs, too. For years and years I've sung those familiar hymns and choruses and never really paid close attention to the songs. Every so often I'll sing the song and the lyrics will hit me and then I can truly sing out to the Lord in praise, worship, prayer and understanding.
I wouldn't condemn a song because it's about heartbreak or romantic love (both very real and valid things) but it does pay to really listen. The first time I heard "The Bonny Swans", I thought it was happy. Then, I listened to the lyrics and found that it was an old story about murder; in fact, the music's really melancholy (though it does have an uplifting lilt). Still love it, but how different it is than what I thought!
Its surprising how you can listen to a song and never really think about what it says. Kate mentioned Strawberry Wine. That's the song that was playing when my dad taught me how to dance. Ive heard it a zillion times, but when Kate mentioned it, I had to go look up the lyrics, I had never really thought about what the song is about. We do need to listen and realize what is being said.
Everything you said is so true and so sad. The other comments have pretty well covered that area so I just wanted to give you an idea for some great songs which will help you memorize Psalm 119 as well. Having these playing in your head all day would be very uplifting!
Psalm 119 in Song by Susie H. Kimbrough
(FYI Stacey–Don't know if you want to print all of this or not but I am including it for you. I'm not in any way connected with this company or composer.)
ISBN: 0-9706335-0-5
Shepard Music Co.
P.O. Box 296
Meadville, MS 39653
infor@shepardmusic.com
You've completely spoiled the song for me, and it was one of my second daughters favourites. I can only thank you for giving me a friendly nudge to think a bit more biblically about it. :-)
What's wrong with Dylan's song? I'm not sure I caught the exact meaning.
Linsay-it's funny, you said on your profile that you're trying to read "Brave New World". LOL Sounds like me (the "trying" part) except I couldn't even try; the message of the book is valid, but after being told what it holds, I couldn't go there. My best friend, a more liberal-minded person, said it was freaky and made me promise I wouldn't read it because she knew it would upset me. Just goes to show some things, including songs, are too heavy and not healthy for all of us, even if they hold valid messages; "1984" is too much for me too. I'm no purist; I've read other futuristic and rough what-if books, like "The Handmaid's Tale", but everyone has their boundaries.
Mrs. Stacy,
I will have to agree with you…..Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance is such a catchy song although I have only listened when she says "caught in a bad romance". I also listened to some people talking about her and they said she got her start in a strip club!!! I was devastated!! I pray she will come to now Jesus as her Savior!! In fact, we should all say a prayer for those who in the secular music industry that they may come to now Jesus!!
Thanks again for this post!!
May I offer a different interpretation?
I'm not sure where you get that the singer’s "been with" all those other girls sexually. (This isn't meant as criticism. I'm just not seeing it.) Did we all marry our very first boyfriends? No, most of us had to search a while til we found him. Nothing wrong with dating around, as long as we treated everyone with respect.
Also, the feel of the song isn't sexual; it's a happy, joyous sound, very uplifting. It would have been easy to make this song sound sexy, but instead it's happy.
I have no problem with his statement that "not everything lasts" because everything doesn't last; even this world will end one day.
So, the singer has dated a fair amount of girls. "I've broken my heart so many times/That I've stopped keeping track" shows how hurt he's been by his past relationships not working out. He doesn't even want to try to count them because that will make him feel even worse. This doesn't mean his feelings weren't genuine–in fact he probably wouldn't feel so bad if his feelings weren't sincere.
He so yearns to feel loved, that he talked himself into loving these girls ("I talk myself in/I talk myself out"), even when it didn't feel like a good fit. After so many times of being hurt, he grew understandably a little bitter with the whole love/dating thing.
"I thought of every possibility": he's trying to figure out what he did wrong, and he realizes it's not him, or them, it's that he hasn't met his wife yet. (This is why the song is happy instead of sad and regretful.) He hasn't met the person God intends him to be with. That's why, no matter how hard he tried, things didn’t work. He loved them as much as he could but it wasn't enough. That would make someone a little burnt out on the dating scene, I think!
He feels the lack of his meant-to-be partner for life, and has tried and tried to find her, and he can't make anyone fit that exact partner-for-life shape.
So, he decides that he will make himself worthy of her: "You make me work/so we can work/to work it out" (and the rest of the song) is in the present and future tenses.
He is making himself into the kind of man he knows his future wife deserves, because he realizes that he already loves her, unknown.
Isn't that where the idea of chastity before marriage comes in? It doesn't matter that you don't know that future spouse yet; you should be faithful to him or her anyway.
He says he has faith that "Whenever it's right" he'll meet her, which sounds a lot like a reference to faith in God's plan to me. He acknowledges that "I might have to wait/ I'll never give up," again, faith and patience in a greater plan. "Somehow I know it'll all turn out"–he can't understand the plan, but he knows it's all to the good, even if he has to wait years to meet her.
Where am I getting that he is thinking of this person as his wife, you might ask? "I give so much more than I get" sounds like selfless marriage-love to me, always keeping the other first. "I won't need to fight it/We'll be united". He won't have to struggle to make her fit into that place he's been trying to fill, she'll just fit like she's supposed to, and "united" is a pretty clear reference to marriage. "What God has united…"
Anyway, that's my take.
I do want to say that I totally agree with your point that a great deal of care must be taken before assimilating any old idea that comes down the pike. But I think this song is actually quite sweet and wholesome.
Really, no personal attack or anything is meant here, just a new slant on the topic at hand. :) Peace!
I just came across something that I thought was relevant to this convsation. I'm in the process of re-reading Passionate Housewives, and I decided that I am going to have to look up what in the world "stepford wives" was…I had no clue. After I read the article, I was reading the pop culture references. Superchic[k] is a all girls "christian" band that I used to listen to all the time in highschool. I liked the sound. Never realized the feminist message behind some of their songs…
"Don't bury me I'm not yet dead
Don't bury me I'm not yet dead
Don't bury me I'm not yet dead
Not a walking zombie with no head
Not a Stepford wife made to obey
Don't want to go through life that way."
-Alive, Superchic[k]
Eek! Yes, that's what Stepford wives are: robots created to obey. Pretty eerie story.