December 31, 2009 by Stacy McDonald
Kiddos in the Kitchen
I love to see children helping in the kitchen. Busy hands, happy hearts, mother-child time. But my patience level is often lacking. Children spill things. They make mistakes (don’t we all?). They make a bigger than necessary mess. I’m faster than they are. So why should I allow them in the kitchen at all? Wouldn’t it be easier to just do it myself?
Sure it would be. Especially since slow, messy people make me crazy.
I take the bars off “my” kitchen, and invite my children onto my turf because I love them and I want them to learn to love something I love – cooking for my family. I know a woman whose mother was a gifted seamstress; but, she never taught her daughter to sew. She never passed on her gift or her love for that gift. I know other women who hate cooking, mostly because they don’t feel confident in the kitchen. I don’t want that to happen to my children.
It was my husband who encouraged me early on to pull my children into the kitchen. I like things done “my” way and tend to get grumpy and impatient when I’m in a hurry. So, allowing slow, clumsy children to cook with me, and to possibly mess things up, was not my idea. My poor, older daughters were very patient with their impatient mother and I am happy to say they are excellent cooks now.
But, now I have a new batch – younger daughters who are up and coming cooks. Time to start all over again and teach those who need teaching, rather than just allowing those of us who already know the ropes to carry the load.
I found this article over at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee particularly helpful. I could so relate to the following quote:
“There are days when I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel like my hormones are controlling me – always tired, angry or sad…I look around and every other mom seems to have it so together – days filled with crafts and cookies and smiles and energy. My dreams and desires are filled with those things, my reality is not.
When I bake cookies, I feel impatient with my babes.
When I plan a craft, I’m just to tired to follow through with it.
Here’s the thing, I know the truth. I know that not every one has it all together and pictures often tell a different story. But it’s hard not to compare. It’s hard to remember who I am. It’s hard to persevere and fight the good fight. I want to do the hard things, but sometimes I can barely do the easy things.”
Be sure to click HERE to read the rest of the article; and see how Sarah Mae learned that she was custom-made by God, with all of her weaknesses and gifts, to be the mother to her children. And so are you. God ordained before the beginning of the world that you would be right where you are today.
“God knows my failings and yet He chose me as my kids mommy…and He did so for a purpose.”
Don’t look at other mothers with stars in your eyes, thinking, “If only I could do things like so-and-so.” Been there, done that, and I’m here to tell you it doesn’t help. Because you’re not so-and-so; you are YOU! And God chose for you to be YOU. Walk in the gifts that He has given you and rely on Him to strengthen you and meet your needs.
Thanks, Sarah Mae. I think I’ll go bake with my little ones today.
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11 Responses to “Kiddos in the Kitchen”
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I really needed to read this post. The quote from Sarah Mae could have been written by me. As a mother of 4, (ages 7 mo. – 6 yrs.) I, too, struggle with feelings of frustration and sometimes anger. But God is gracious, and I know He will never give me more in my day than His grace will see me through. Thank you for letting God use you as a vessel of blessing to me.
I love this! It is so true – I find myself thinking some of the same things – most especially that I can get it done faster and quicker than them, so why bother!?! So, thank you for this post. I want to have my children in the kitchen helping me and learning and know some of the most cherished conversations and bonding will come of it. Thank you again!
Ah yes, this is just how I feel every time my 8yo daughter wants to cook with me. Oh how I shudder at the mess of flour, sugar, salt, etc. that she will spill, or the egg shells that I have to fish out of the batter. Sometimes I just want to sneak my cooking in when she isn't looking so I can do it myself. That doesn't teach her anything, though, does it?
If I think back as to how I became passionate about cooking, it was because my mother always let me help. I was capable of making family dinners by the age of 13. I've now come to love my little mini-me hopping up on the bar stool with her eyes bright and ready to help. Every time we cook together she tells me that she hopes to have a daughter one day so she can teach her to cook too. The years pass by quickly and soon enough she'll be grown and married, so I'm savoring these moments now!
Okay, the very fact that you feel this way just blows the lid off of any of my expectations, because YOU are one of those amazing moms to me!
I'm a little stunned.
And thankful.
:)
Thank you for the link!
Thank you for posting this! God knew how much I needed to hear this tonight! We have been blessed with 6 (8 to twin 9mo. olds). Five are girls. It gets frustrating to open my kitchen, except for doing dishes! Thank you for the friendly reminder! My mom was so good at teaching us to cook. I want to pass on that family love of cooking for our families! Thank you!
Timely words. We were having friends over tonight and my little five year old daughter was asking if she could help make the home made pizza. Everything inside me was saying "NO WAY!" My house was so clean and my kitchen spotless. Did I want flour, sauce and cheese everywhere? But…………I made the wise choice to have her make one of the pizza pies. She was so proud and everyone made sure they thanked her for making dinner. Yes it takes longer and yes there is a bigger mess to clean but how else is she to learn?? Thank you for the wonderful post to remind me of what is most important.
Thank you for this post! We've been on break from formal lessons this month and I have found my heart growing more & more impatient with my little ones. This post was a great beginning to the new year!
Stacie, thank you for your honesty and your willingness to be real on your blog!
I too have those same thoughts and feelings….
But I think 2010 is the year I want to overcome those thoughts and feelings, with God's help and His strength.
It was a great post and I really am looking forward to bringing my 6 older girls into the kitchen this year!
I have an older daughter that learned to bake when she was 8 and is better at it than I am, now. We have young children who have not been included in the kitchen(too many capable older hands) and they just make messes in other areas of the house!! :/ You've inspired me to bring the mess into the kitchen so that it is purposeful.
Oh! Thank you!!
I am on the other end of the spectrum, for years I let the kids mess up my kitchen and now I am reaping the benefits. My 16 year old daughter made our entire gourmet Thanksgiving dinner, and the food was better than my traditional bland items. Oh, and by the way, they still make a mess at 16 – but it is SO worth it!