November 14, 2009 by Stacy McDonald

Letter from a Reader

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“He told me the other night that this is the happiest and most satisfied that he has been in nearly 14 years of marriage.”

This morning, one of my readers left a comment that I found encouraging and wanted to pass it on. What a good reminder to us women that what we’re doing in our homes for our husbands and children really does make a difference. Thanks for sharing, Christy!

“I can honestly attest to the reference of a man’s need to see his wife, not on the train at the end of a hard day’s “business” work for both of them; but, rather, a man’s desire is to see his wife in the sanctuary of his home, making the sun shine on his piece of earth.

My husband and I worked and toiled in the “business world” together (and apart) for nearly 11 years before our first son. I then came home on a “part-time/work from home” basis for just over a year. I have now been in my home, in my true calling, as wife and mother for 1.5 years, and we are now expecting our 3rd baby (in under 3 years)…what changes!

While my husband doesn’t always come home to “peace and tranquility” (in a home filling up with toddlers)–he does come home to me–earnestly engrossed in his home and kingdom. He told me the other night that this is the happiest and most satisfied that he has been in nearly 14 years of marriage. (And we have had an idyllic marriage, in both our estimations.) What a tremendous blessing to my heart, and our home!!

In even further confirmation of the perfect will of God in our lives as believers, my brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) commented to my husband that he wants his wife to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. He noted that he sees the confidence and peace in my husband, and as a new believer, he wants that kind of joy in his home…which, in great part, is due to committing our home in the hands of God and discovering His desires in our roles, as husband, wife and parents.

I lied to myself and others for a very long time…I really believed that I “could have it all”. The problem with “having it all” is that NONE of it is ever done to the best of our ability, or in God’s perfect will. Something will always suffer. Working women/mothers may not “fail” in their tasks, but they will never know the true satisfaction of a wholly committed relationship with their husbands and children. (I couldn’t, my attentions were always split between my responsibilities…this is the nature of being human.)

I thank God for His grace in placing me (reluctantly, at first), in His true calling for my life. I am reminded each day that this is the most satisfying, and sanctifying, work that I will ever do.

Thank you, Mrs. McDonald, for your book (Passionate Housewives…). That book hit me in the heart with the most powerful message known to man…the Word of God. Since I read that book 2.5 years ago, we (my husband and I) have called this season of our lives, the “Transformation”. We count it a blessing to have brothers and sisters in the faith (that we may not meet here on earth), that are real in their encouragement to press closer to the One and Only, the Great I AM.”

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7 Responses to “Letter from a Reader”

  1. joyfulhelpmeet says:

    wow how wonderful!! I too am now a stay at home momma expecting my 2nd child (my first turns 1 tomorrow). My husband and i are both SO much happier with this arrangement. No wonder we are happy…GODS WAYS ARE BETTER!!! Your book blessed me tremendously as well. Long ago i was given a book by your husband (only i didnt know that). It has sat on my shelf for years, but when i found out it was YOUR husband than i decided to give it a read lol. Blessings to you and your blog

  2. Stacy McDonald says:

    Hi Amanda,

    I'm not sure which book you're talking about, but, my husband hasn't written any books, so I think you may be talking about James MacDonald. :-) Don't worry, it happens a lot.

    My James (McDonald) pastors Providence Church in Morton, IL. The other James pastors Harvest Bible Chapel in Chicago, IL.

  3. keepingitonthedownlow says:

    In the letter she said "The problem with "having it all" is that NONE of it is ever done to the best of our ability" This is so true and I struggle with it even being a keeper of my home. I have to be very careful not to let extra things, or volunteering, even church not to spread me so thin that nothing is done the best of my ability. Thanks for sharing the letter

  4. Jenn@Spejory says:

    What a wonderful testimony! I can agree, having stayed home for the past 12 years. I never imagined when I was a driven college student majoring in pre-med that I would someday make the decision to stay at home and be completely content. It's so true that it is impossible to do it all and do it well, at least without a great deal of outside help.

  5. Mrs. Lindblom says:

    She is so right- when we are FULLY committed to our families and homes, it makes a huge difference.

  6. Mrs. Lady Sofia says:

    This letter makes me smile and gives me hope! I know that my husband is ALOT happier, now that I am a full-time homemaker and taking care of our family. I'm alot happier too. :)

  7. Georgia says:

    Below is another point of view that is felt by so many people who stay in a marriage like it or not. It seems as your interpretation of the bible is that marriage is not about love but maybe a sense of security that is leaves people with no options. No offense to your beliefs or your interpretation of the bible, but some women need to be more than a helpmeet. By you calling them selfish who are you to judge?

    "I Can" Comes Before "I Do" (by Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D., published Tuesday, 23 February 2010 00:00)
    Finances and a general sense of overall “security” are THE reason people stay in unhappy marriages, in my experience. That’s why I believe it’s important to never marry someone (much less have children) until you can afford the lifestyle you want on your own. If marrying someone increases your lifestyle or income, that’s fine—since two incomes almost always do—but your life ought to be at a point where you know you can support yourself even if you didn’t have the marriage. Otherwise you’re trapped if the long-range relationship doesn’t work out, emotionally

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