August 24, 2009 by Stacy McDonald
Please read Part 1 HERE
“But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:21-24)
Yes! This is my battle! I know the truth; but, I struggle. I know I’m loved, and am no longer forsaken; but, too often, I don’t feel it, so I don’t walk in it. Oh “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24) Help me to walk in the truth of your love toward me simply because I know it’s true. Help me to see my life, and even my pain, as a sacrifice to you—to embrace my past as something that will be used to better glorify You.
“You shall also be a crown of glory in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate…” (Isaiah 62:3-4)
Fear torments—fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of being hated, fear of being unwanted, unloved…even just tolerated. Those who have known deep rejection know how difficult it is to articulate the irrational fears that plague you—that chase you down in the dead of night—and sometimes in the day. There is One who knows better than any other—He knows it all.
Rejection was my foe. He stood over me with a gleaming dagger, mocking me, imminent victory gleaming in his eyes. My heart pounded. I closed my eyes and turned my head to the fate I knew I deserved. “I wouldn’t want me either,” I thought.
Yet, suddenly, with each beat of my heart, the footsteps of my Beloved pounded in my head. Could it be?
A voice charged with passion and authority thundered through the air, “She is Mine.” It is all He said.
From where I lay, I could see the nail marks in His feet.
I looked up and realized my foe was gone. All that remained of him was the dagger in my own hand.
Lord, save me from myself. You rescued me from Your own wrath and from the tormentors who had laid claim to my soul. Why then do I secretly struggle to live in victory over the very bondage I loathed—even when I see and know the truth? Why do I so often see myself with worldly eyes? “Oh God, I believe; help my unbelief!”
“But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?” (Galatians 4:9)
Lord, help us all to see ourselves the way You see us—to know and remember that You have orchestrated our steps. You have walked in and experienced our pain. You have loved us in our ugliness, and washed us clean. Remind us that regardless of who lets us down, You never will. Regardless of who may forget us, you will never forget.
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.” (Isaiah 49:15-16)
Lord, You have my name engraved on the palm of Your hands; engrave that truth on my mind and heart.
Let my spirit be consumed with the fact that You will never leave me nor forsake me (Heb. 13:5). “In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Psalm 56:11)
Help me to walk in victory over that treacherous foe You have already defeated; help me to recall and use the testimony of Your mercy and grace in my life to overcome the lies of this world (Revelation 12:11).
The words burned through my mind with a healing heat, searing their meaning into my soul: “She is Mine.”
“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” (Song of Solomon 7:10)