January 7, 2009 by Stacy McDonald

A Single Solitary Article

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This past Sunday, my husband preached a sermon on how important it is for unmarried men and women to thrive right where God has providentially placed them. Just as it’s sinful to “unduly delay” marriage, as the Westminster Confession of Faith describes, it is also sinful to sit and pine away after a gift that God has not yet given. In other words, we should all glorify God right where He has us. Content with and in Him.

While James and I both cringe a bit at the word “single,” you will find that he uses it in his sermon periodically for the sake of convenience. Scripture does not use the word “single” when referring to the unmarried. In fact, the closest we could find to the term “single,” was the word “solitary.” And what does Scripture say about the single person – or the “solitary” person?

“God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.” (Psalm 68:6)

Those who are unmarried do not need to be “alone.” They should not be islands within our communities; they should be integrated members. Many families have decided to take this Scripture to heart and invite the unmarried to be a part of their families, either to live or to partake in family life on a regular basis. This is covenantal living. This is community.

What better way for the unmarried (especially if they were not raised in a Christian home) to learn what it looks like to function as a godly husband or wife. They can see and experience first hand what a Christian family looks like! Praise the Lord! Let us all be living witnesses of the love of Christ!

Thriving in Singleness – (1/4/09)
Isaiah 56:1-5Pastor James McDonald

CLICK HERE to listen to the sermon

And be sure to read Debbie Maken’s thought provoking article, “Is Singlness Always a Gift”

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11 Responses to “A Single Solitary Article”

  1. Bethany Hudson says:

    Thanks for sharing this, Stacy. Of course, it shouldn’t be particularly revolutionary, but it really is in our day and age! Our church is probably about half unmarried congregants in their twenties and thirties who live by themselves or with another roommate… It’s good to have this perspective when considering how best to serve them.

  2. Stacy McDonald says:

    Hi Bethany,

    Yes, you are right. It is important to remember that we do not live the ideal in our society. However, perhaps this IS the best way to serve them – at least in most cases.

    We have about 8 “unmarried adults” in our congregation and only one of them lives outside of a family setting, but I realize this is not the norm in most churches.

    But that was kind of my point. If more families would invite “singles” into their homes to be a part of their families lives (and I don’t necessarily mean they should always invite them to move in!), then I think we would see a healthier Church today.

    Singles would get to know one another in the setting of family, rather than the “singles group” model. And they would learn the inner workings of the godly Christian family. This is particularly important when we’re talking about a Christian “single” who was not raised in a Christian home. They have no clue as to what it looks like to be a godly husband or wife/father or mother. They need to see it lived out in real life!

    As a side note, this is not really the point of my husband’s sermon; it was just kind of a tangent I went on! LOL

  3. Faith says:

    This was good. I know for my self, since I didn’t get married until age 30, that both my husband and I had families in our then local church who “took us under their wings” so to speak. I appreciated that so much when I was in my 20’s and finishing up my grad degree. I loved eating dinner with these families and seeing how the Lord was using their gift of hospitality. We try to do this as well now that we have been married for 18 years although currently since we have a teen and a 10 year old we seem to be ministering to that age group! Our new church also has an awesome singles group that does things with families and married couples…..thanks for sharing all of this.

  4. Bethany Hudson says:

    Stacy- I agree with you; placing Christian singles into family relationships is a FANTASTIC way to serve them. Many churches, ours included, have done this for college students and interns, but I think it’s equally important for those who are no longer students–perhaps even moreso since many young professionals do not even have the companionship of classmates.

    I had a question for you, as well. How did you make the widget for your site? Is there an application you can use to do this?


  5. The Shindels says:

    Hi Stacy,

    I was encouraged to read this post, especially the scripture of putting the solitary in families. We have a number of singles in our church…some live with families, some with roommates, and some on their own. The ones thriving most spiritually are the ones in families. Our family is coming out of a very tough season as my husband has just finished school and is pursuing his paramedic license. However, we’ve often wanted to invite our single friends to come live with us. Perhaps this coming season will allow us that opportunity to bless and serve. Thanks again!


  6. Stacy McDonald says:

    I do feel compelled to give a small warning here. Wisdom and discernment must be used as we consider what this verse means and who it may be talking to. There are different seasons of life when we are more able to open our homes for live-ins. For instance, a family who has a son who is struggling with lust would need to think twice about inviting a brand new, attractive, female Christian into their home to live. Likewise, a home with young ladies would need to beware of inviting a young man into their home to live.

    In addition to these two examples, there are many other things to consider. Wisdom and discernment, as well as lots of prayer and guidance from ones elders, is in order.

  7. Stacy McDonald says:

    Hi Bethany,

    Just go to http://www.widgetbox.com and you can make your own widget.

    If you’d like to share mine, you can just click on the link I provide for that purpose.

    Blessings to you!

  8. Jennifer says:

    What a sweet idea, Stacy :)

    Btw, I’m sorry that Tiffany and Jared’s betrothal is ended. I guess God has other plans for both of them.

  9. Stacy McDonald says:

    God is sovereign and we know and trust that our ways are not always His ways. He sees things we do not see.

    “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NKJV)

    Just as He is in conrol of our salvation, so He is in control of the details of our lives. Praise Him!

    Soli Deo Gloria!

  10. Jennifer says:


  11. Lauren Bleser says:

    I loved this message. It was so balanced in directing us to live a purposeful life for Christ now, while having a vision for our future. Full of practical ideas to prepare and learn, while also encouraging us to honor the institution of marriage. I loved the charge to the congregation, also. I went to college and got my masters and began to pursue my career as a teacher. Then I was befriended by a sweet family from my church. They helped me to understand a lot about family, home education, gender roles, purity, etc. They even took me into their home so I could learn the disciplines (both personal and practical) that would help prepare me for marriage. I am truly a living example of that scripture in Psalm 68:6 – God sets the solitary in families.

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