July 30, 2008 by Stacy McDonald
Life is Short…
“May the Lord use this testimony to expand His Kingdom—I am confident that my father’s life was not in vain.” ~ James McDonald V
Many of us struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Many times we feel we can’t homeschool our children (at least not very well) because we believe there is a “right way” and a “wrong way” to do it; and if you’re like me, you’re sure you’ll choose the wrong way!
I just wanted to remind you today that God uses us all in different ways – giving us different methods and resources to teach our own children. There is no right and wrong way as long as we ARE actually training them to the glory of God: relying on His wisdom and strength.
My father-in-law passed from this life last Saturday and it has stirred many emotions and contemplations in the heart of my husband. James was not raised in a Christian home; in fact one could argue whether or not he was actually “raised” at all. In many ways he was a child left to himself. However, by God’s grace and providence, He chose to place James in the home he did and taught him many hard and valuable lessons in the midst of it all. God is faithful.
It’s very common to blame our weaknesses or failings on our parents or on our past and allow it to become a crutch, or an excuse, for why we “can’t” do something. Sometimes we even blame our sin on our upbringing, unwittingly minimizing God’s power and grace. Some may believe they aren’t equipped or capable of training their children well. After all, “That father at church had a better start,” or, “That mom over there was raised in a Christian home, so she probably knows how to handle her children or run her home better than me.”
But remember God is our Redeemer. He redeems more than our souls – He redeems our past…for His glory. He equips us to handle whatever He calls us to accomplish. And He uses our faithfulness, and even our poor upbringing or our past sins, for His own glory.
I invite you to read the most recent post written by my husband, James, where he contemplates the loss of his father.
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11 Responses to “Life is Short…”
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Thank you for sharing. It is so easy to look at a family and a marriage and make quick judgements about how “easy” it is for them to live or speak a certain way…never considering the continual battle to arrive and to maintain a family and a life that glorifies God. We may have pasts that required incredible momentum and miraculous works to overcome and, yet, few know of God’s power because it is not always talked about. Thank you for allowing us to see how God has powerfully moved in your family.
I was also surprised by the fact that your grandfather was Dr. DeBakey. My husband is a cardiac anesthesiologist. He has sacrificed his career many times over for the sake of our family. We were talking about Dr. DeBakey when he passed away. His accomplishments and career are so familiar to my husband. We all wondered about his family as we marveled at his long, dedicated and remarkably successful professional life. As our son looks toward medicine as a future career, I know my husband is imparting the significance of choosing this path wisely. Medicine can be a jealous mistress or a beautiful way to serve God. Once again, thank you for sharing. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Thank you for the link to the testimony…that reminder is very much needed as we strive to raise our five little men for God’s glory. It is also a good reminder of God’s Love. Makes me think of Eli and then Samuel being “Godly” and yet thier children turned from God…it isn’t just going to happen that they take up the cross and follow.
I am so grateful for your husband’s post. To God be the glory and praise!
In Christ,
Sarah E.
Thank you for linking to the testimony on your husband’s blog. It spoke to my heart in a deep way.
I, too, come from a home very similar to Pastor McDonald’s. Neither of my parents were drinkers because their parents were alcoholics, but the residual affect was still very present.
My mother passed away five years ago but my father still lives and has continued his selfish/self-centered ways despite claims of being a believer.
He encouraged such extreme antagonism between us siblings that we struggle, in our 40s, to have any kind of relationship. We just don’t know how.
God has continually pulled me out of the depths of anger and bitterness that overwhelm at times. He’s always known exactly the times I need to hear Him to bring me to the next step of faith.
This beautiful note of faith and honor were once again perfectly timed. My dad has pulled some unbelievable stunts since my mother’s passing and it has caused all of his children to just give up all hope. Our hearts are so scarred by all the hurts that it’s hard to care any more and I’ve had nothing to do with him since he remarried one year after my mother’s death.
I spent most of the past 43 years of my life trying everything I can to please him, to get him to accept me, to have him be proud of me, to no avail. I don’t hate him but striving to please this man hurt my family immensely and I can’t get this time back nor can I continue to sacrifice them for him.
I so appreciate Pastor McDonald putting his heart on the line today. His comments have given me hope that even though there is nothing I can do to change my father, not only is God in control of that, He can and will help me to honor him regardless.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!
Jeni
Dear Stacy ~~
God bless James for sharing this expierence with us all….. his message is profound and needs to be heard by fathers everywhere. I am going to print it off and have my husband read it.
Oh how important the role of fathers is!
May God bless you & James as you mourn the loss of your loved ones & may the Lord continue to bless you as you serve Him!
In Christ,
gloria
Stacy,
Thank you, and your husband for this testimony. It is easy to think the life you see someone living in Christ has been paved from generations past, as some are.
This testimony actually offers hope, the only hope offered to sinners in the gospel of Christ. Were it not for His great mercy we would reek havoc on our lives and all those we touch.
May God’s mercy be upon us all as we raise the next generation.
FANTASTIC article. To God be the glory! I linked to it on my blog. :)
I have just found your blog from a link from a friend’s blog. Your husband’s testimony is incredibly powerful and beautiful – to grow up in such a home and to love his father and honour him and to be free of bitterness and unforgiveness shows what a great God we have. You are blessed to have such a husband.
Blessings, Jules.
Dear Stacy,
Thank you for sharing your husband’s testimony with us. My husband came from a similar situation. His mother had to be placed in the hospital many times due to abuse. Once a nurse commented that she was their only patient who never wanted to go home.
The family attended the same church we now attend. A Bible believing, salvation preaching, good church. The father lived one life at church and another at home. He thought he had everyone fooled…but everyone knew the truth. As with your father-in-law, we are unsure if he ever made a commitment with the Lord.
I wrote all that to say this. My husband’s experiences have made him a better husband and father. He is generous, NOT controlling, a loving husband and father and works hard to that end. He knows what the “other side” is like and never wants his wife and children to ever experience that life.
I am very thankful for my husband and the way he allows the Lord to lead him and our family.
Thank you for sharing this personal part of your life and thank you for allowing me to share! God bless all of you today.
Ruth, PA
I found your blog through your husbands’ blog. I am so encouraged by what both of you ahve written regarding your father-in-laws death.
I have linked both your husbands post and yours to my husbands blog this week as I think they are both full of reminders to us of God’s amazing goodness, regardless of circumstances and upbringing.
I also just read about the passing of your dear friend Colleen. It must be a very emotional week for you and your family. I admire your trust in the Lord in the face of your grief. May the Lord continue to uphold you all through this time.
Blessings to you and your precious family.
Meg in Sydney