July 15, 2008 by Stacy McDonald
"Have It Your Way"
Because they forsook the Lord God of their fathers, who brought them out of the land of Egypt, and embraced other gods, and worshiped them and served them; therefore He has brought all this calamity on them. (2 Chronicles 7:22, NKJV)
The idolatry and materialism in our culture is no great secret. While Americans have been the butt of jokes for years, the American love affair with “more” has proven contagious. Other countries, even poor countries, rely on American television and movies to learn what the latest fads are and which pop idol they should worship.
Professional marketers have aimed their efforts at children for years. How many of us still remember (and occasionally quote) the jingles from our favorite commercials as children? Who cares if “Mikey likes it” or who “has a way” with b-o-l-o-g-n-a? If only I had been memorizing Scripture and the Catechism!
There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, yet is not washed from its filthiness. There is a generation—oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation whose teeth are like swords, and whose fangs are like knives, To devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men. The leech has two daughters— Give and Give! There are three things that are never satisfied, four never say, “Enough!” (Proverbs 30:12-15, NKJV)
Today’s children are truly being pushed over the edge. And instead of helping them to see past their own selfish desires, as a culture, we’re feeding their greed—we’re enticing them down the fiery spiraling pit of self-indulgence and despair.
Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University led a comprehensive new study with five psychologists who worry that the narcissistic trend amongst young people could be harmful to personal relationships and American society:
“We need to stop endlessly repeating ‘You’re special’ and having children repeat that back. Kids are self-centered enough already…
“The researchers traced the phenomenon back to what they called the “self-esteem movement” that emerged in the 1980s, asserting that the effort to build self-confidence had gone too far.
As an example, Twenge cited a song commonly sung to the tune of “Frere Jacques” in preschool: ‘I am special, I am special. Look at me.’
“The study asserts that narcissists “are more likely to have romantic relationships that are short-lived, at risk for infidelity, lack emotional warmth, and to exhibit game-playing, dishonesty, and over-controlling and violent behaviors.
“Twenge, the author of Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled — and More Miserable Than Ever Before, said narcissists tend to lack empathy, react aggressively to criticism and favor self-promotion over helping others.”
A generation of kids grew up hearing Burger King’s mantra, “Have it your way.” And so they did. And today’s children are paying the price: narcissism, obesity, anorexia, bolemia, STDs, depression, suicide, school shootings, gangs and the list goes on.
While all these things may be the symptoms of a sinful heart, they also reflect a culture gone mad—and people at war with God. As Christians, we must not hide from the culture. Neither are we at war with our culture. Instead, we are to confront the culture. We are to lead, to transform, to convert it—not find “Christian” ways to imitate it. We are to take dominion of our culture for Christ! And we can’t do that until we wake up, evaluate the real problems, get the focus off ourselves, and get to work glorifying God!
And to do that, we must repent—we must humble ourselves, pray and seek God’s face, and turn from our wicked ways…
“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14, NKJV)
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We once had a pastor who said that the theme song in hell will be Frank Sinatra’s “I Did IT My Way.” We are a culture gone made with our own way, and for anyone who dares to suggest that there is a right way (God’s way) and a wrong way (our own), they will be labeled narrow-minded and intolerant. May those of us who love the name of Christ persevere in the face of the opposition we daily receive.
Blessings,
Patti
Thank you for writing about this. I have felt the same way for YEARS but felt it fell on deaf ears. I have received the following response – “You can’t shelter them”, “Let them have a childhood”, “That’s what teenagers do” (PLEASE SOMEONE SHOW ME WHERE IT EVER DISCUSSES TEENAGERS IN SCRIPTURE!!) Generations are growing up never content with what the Lord has given them…no matter how much or how little.
Both of my children had to go to work at age sixteen (part time, of course) for their clothing and anything “extra”. My husband’s illness progressed until he had to go on Disability a few years ago.
At the time, it was difficult for us not to be able to give them what their very affluent friends had. Now we know it was truly a gift from God. Both of them know the value of a dollar and how much hard work goes into what they spend.
Both also have a heart to help others even less fortunate than them. So different than their friends who were given everything they wanted through the years.
“Generations are growing up never content with what the Lord has given them…no matter how much or how little”
Hi Brenda,
This is true, but it’s nothing new. The heart of man always wants more than what God gives him. Even “Mana from Heaven” wasn’t good enough after a while – they still wanted more and longed for what they didn’t have. The grass will always be greener on the other side of the selfish heart of man.
But I’m wondering if there has ever been a time in history where an entire culture pushes its youth over the edge like this. Even the church has joined the club – focusing on the “you are special” mentality of pop-psychology.
My husband and I have been having discussions about this very topic recently. Think about it. This current generation of children, many of whom have never heard the word “NO” nor been expected to obey or accept that answer, will one day run our country, be responsible for our care in our old age, have to go out in society to work and raise their own families. They way things are going, that is a frightening picture indeed.
My pastor and I had a chat recently and he said that unless today’s youth has God directing their lives, they have no moral compass to guide them and will become lost. Amen to that and praying for a cultural reformation — soon!
This topic is near to our hearts. Years ago we pulled the plug on the garbage infiltrating our home through the television. I am not sure who said it, but one of our favorite quotes is, “We allow things/people into our home through the tv that we wouldn’t let though the front door.” My children are still young and we are teaching them about God’s design for our finances (tithing, offering and responsibility). To learn more about the in’s and out’s of finances they are growing vegetables in our family garden to sell to the neighbors. My husband charged them rent on the land (25 cents) as well as a watering fee (another 25 cents). They do not wear name brands and wouldn’t even be able to tell you what clothing brands are out there. Unfortunately they would be able to tell you about Webkins and iPods!
We had an incident at our home on Friday. My husband has been teaching our sons how to mow the grass and safely use the mower. They did a fantastic job, on their own. My husband said to me that as a reward he wanted to take them for icecream. (I know that this is a simplistic illustration…but we try to teach in small lessons.) Anyway, I asked him to not mention that it was a “reward” because over the years, we have been teaching them that as a family, we all work to accomplish household tasks…without being paid. That there was reward in accomplishing work. We all went our for icecream…just because it was a hot evening, and a fun time was had by all!! : )
Ruth, PA
Excellent post. The video was an excellent illustration of what you wrote. So sad it’s true.
God bless.
I think of my parents when I think of these things. My parents were really the first to be raised in such a generation of “me-ness”. Even now, it shows with them. They are anti-large family (meaning more than 2) because it takes so much away from “me-time”. I have four and am praying for so many more! They have a 3,000+ square foot home, two cars, a truck, two motorcycles, an expensive boat, snowmobiles, and spend all of their time working to “enjoy” these luxuries they so “deserve”! :roll: They aren’t very happy. They have taught me that family is secondary to self. Possessions are a needed must for fulfillment. And, you can’t please everyone, so you better learn to please yourself- at almost any cost. My mother and father are believers, but live off of the milk and have missed some major foundation stones in there. So, it’s not “the children’s fault”. It’s not society’s fault. It’s the failed generations of past, for allowing it. (My grandmother says it all the time- she failed her children.)
My children ARE special, and of worth- but only because of their Creator. Not because of WHO they can be- but because of WHO HE IS! They are miserable sinners, deserving the worst of punishments- but the Father loves them so much, and deems them valuable despite their awfulness. And, we teach them this. I’m not a believer in “raising your children’s self esteem”- but I do believe in a healthy sense of worth through the Father’s eyes.
I do wish there was a disclaimer on the video saying that it contained content which may be inappropriate for children. My six year old son was standing next to me when I began watching it. I had to try and distract his attentions elsewhere, and had some explaining to do after. :-(
Thank you for sharing this with us. How true it is. This generation is spiraling out of control into deep destruction… and if the parents do not wake up… I don’t want to imagine the kind of place my children will be warriors in!
what a blessing your blog is! i was thinking of this very subject this morning and look what i found you had written! thank you for continued inspiration.
I thought the video was definitely thought provoking, but I noticed one glaring absence, or maybe I just missed it. Did it have any mention of parental responsibility? Parents today want to blame governments and corporations for all the ills that reach our children, but where are our children and what are they doing when they are being reached? WE send them to these schools – WE take them to these movies – WE let them watch whatever is on the “kid’s” stations on TV – WE let them get on these internet sights…and the list goes on and on.
My children are still very young – 19 months and 32 weeks in utero, so I still have some time before alot of this reaches us. But I pray that we will have the strength to stand firm on these issues that we believe in.
What a great article, Stacy…thank you. I am early pregnant (10 weeks) and haven’t stopped by for a while (it’s nauseating to sit up for long!), but my 15 year old daughter kept pushing me: “Mom, have you read the post ‘Have it your way’ at Mrs. McDonald’s blog yet?” I finally took the time tonight. It was very worthy of her nagging!
:-)
(And aren’t you blessed when your children see the value in discussing things like this? I sure am!)
I’m so greatful for websites like yours and “Vision Forum” and “Ladies Against Feminism” because they are helping my husband and I to steer away from the secular culture and towards raising godly children in a godly home… I’m not saying we are going to be perfect and our kids will be little perfect angels, it’s just that our secular world offers basically the total opposite of what the Bible offers. Neither of us was raised Christian so we are learning as we go along ~ with our first baby due in November!!! We celebrate our second anniversary tommorow (July 21st) and I just bought my husband some wonderful things from “Vision Forum” about christian fatherhood ~ and I nabbed a few things about christian wife/motherhood for myself. We’re slowly learning…
GOD BLESS!!!
After watching several of these videos on commercialism, I find it very scary, yet I am not very surprised. It’s quite obvious that our culture is moving towards the “earn as much money as you can so you can get as much as you want” society. Even my father told me a few times when I was younger to be able to get a good job (e.g., career) so you can have much money. Then, you can buy anything you want.
I find it very scary how children are being used to become an ever awful “me generation.” Watching these videos made me realize how important it is to train children to be responsible, caring, considerate, mature, etc. individuals. If commercialism keeps-up at this rate, I don’t even want to think about the future. Let’s just all keep praying for God’s Kingdom to come – where He will be the ruler of this world, and will some day over-turn worldly leaders and governments.
This is an amazing video, thank you for sharing it! I care for three precious girls in the Princeton, N.J. area, and this has been on my heart for some time. Their innocence is being stolen by the media and everything this video shows, and the sad part is they think that is normal. Its so heartbreaking, yet very helpful to discern for my own family.
That video was just so very sad… and it made me very glad (once again) that we don’t have tv or video games or any of that in our house. We are hopelessly behind the times I’m afraid… and at times I have gotten a bit of grief about how my kids aren’t aware of many of the things their peers are. Thank you for the reinforcement that we are doing the right thing:)
I had a discussion with my 17yo daughter lately that was very interesting. I allowed her to have a cell phone, thinking she would love it and it would be a huge treat for her. Well, after a while I noticed that she wasn’t using it and wasn’t even keeping it charged up. She said that it was true that she had wanted one very badly, but once she had it she realized how quickly it could become an idol… the constant connection with friends feeding idle-ness and encouraging her attentions to go where it was less than productive and ideal. I then began to really notice other teens and their reliance on (dare I say obsession with?) their cell phones. I told her I had to agree with her and that I thought she was showing wisdom beyond her years in her decision to give it up.
I wonder what your opinion is on young people having their own cell phones and all of the accompanying “connectedness” they foster?
I remember growing up, having only one car. We didn’t take fancy vacations. We had a modest house and only one TV. We rarely went out to eat. We didn’t buy name-brand clothes (in fact, my grandmother sewed alot of mine) My parents’ generation was raised on the motto, “if you don’t have the money, don’t buy it.” What went wrong? That generation of parents has raised my generation and all the generations that have come afterwards. And the attitude now is, “I want it, I deserve it, I’ll get it.” Things that it took YEARS for our parents and grandparents to afford we now think we must have immediately, as soon as we are married or even unmarried teens within our parent’s homes. People now seem to think it is their right and privilege to have the very things that were bought with years of hard work.