February 25, 2008 by Stacy McDonald

Coming Home: Thoughts for the Working Woman with a Heart for Home

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Over the years, I’ve heard from working women who would love to be home; some would love to homeschool, but they, or perhaps their husbands, aren’t sure they can afford living on one income. Read what Jennie Chancey has to say:

“Perhaps you’re one of the 80% of women who would like nothing better than to quit your job and go back home, whether or not you have children. Perhaps you’ve dreamed of leaving it all behind to go home and make “home” the place you long for it to be. But, practically speaking, you just don’t see how it can be done.

We don’t live in a one-income economy any longer (thanks to years of feminist policies – see Forced Labor by Brian Robertson for a thorough expose’ of this fact). Maybe your husband is convinced your family cannot make it without your salary. This section is here for you. Here you will find articles, links and tips to show you how you can go back home…without losing your mind or convincing others you have!”

Click on the following link to find a page chock-full of helpful articles and links on how to move toward home and get out of the two-income trap: Beautiful Womanhood.

Being a full time homemaker allows Christian women to fulfill many satisfying and biblical roles. A home-making woman:

1. Is available to her husband whenever he needs her.

2. Is able to keep a schedule, have dinner ready on time for her family, and doesn’t have to rely on others to raise her children.

3. Is able to train and homeschool her own children.

4. Can influence and enrich her children’s lives by being there to exemplify Christ all day – on a daily basis.

5. Is home to witness her baby’s “first smile,” “first steps,” “first word.”

6. Is free to make her house a home – and keep it that way.

7. Is available to care for the sick or aging in her family, church, and community.

8. Is available to teach and minister to the younger women in the church during a working woman’s “working hours.”

9. Is free to take meals to new moms, sick families, or the elderly.

Disclaimer: I realize plenty of working women manage to do many of these things at times, but their time (and energy) is severely limited. Someone outside the household (their boss) “owns” much of their time; therefore, a working woman is not as free to minister to her family or the church as a homemaking woman.

Often, by the time the working woman makes it home, she is exhausted and depleted. She then prepares dinner, bathes children, cleans the house, and collapses. Her boss gets the hours where she is fresh, energetic, and cheerful. Her family gets the “left over” energy she has at the end of the day.

I recall a friend telling me once, after collapsing in a chair at the end of her very long work day, “I need a wife.” She wasn’t referring to sexual orientation, she was reflecting on the fact that she was being required to fulfill two roles – the breadwinner and the bread baker – and she was exhausted and overwhelmed.

If you’re in this position and are interested in researching your options, here are some “frugal living” websites and resources that Jennie recommends:

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12 Responses to “Coming Home: Thoughts for the Working Woman with a Heart for Home”

  1. Lady-in-the-Making says:

    Bravo! This is precisely where I am at today! If you don’t mind, I would love to post the link to this blog at my own (http://femininityrevisited.blogspot.com). Thanks so much!

  2. Stacy McDonald says:

    Please feel free!

  3. Kim says:

    Last summer, when our latest blessing was in the NICU for three months, I saw a lot of tragic things. Most of them revolving around babies all alone.

    I talked to more than a few moms who wanted to be with their babies but couldn’t/wouldn’t. They had painted themselves into a corner with their job/career.

    1) Between the two parents Mom makes more $ or has the health insurance or the better health insurance and they are looking at thousands and thousands of dollars in medical bills and possible long term health issues with their baby or more than one baby.

    2) Mom has six weeks of maternity leave and her baby is going to be in the hospital for a few months. She chooses to leave her baby in the NICU and take maternity leave when her baby comes home. NICU=around the clock day care.

    3) Mom gets in trouble with her boss because she is taking a break to pump milk for her preemie every two hours. Mom loses her job due to “poor performance”.

    4) This is the couple’s first baby and they were very unprepared for the overwhelming emotions of first being a parent and second having their baby nearly die, be in such a frail needy state, and coming to the realization that there are more important things in life than job/career/money.

    It was a very painful thing seeing moms who had placed themselves in the situation they were in through the choice of working and having their family dependent on their income or health insurance.

    One good thing I experienced was a sister of another NICU mom tell me with joy and excitement that she was quitting her job and going to stay home with her little children.

  4. Deanna says:

    This was me about 2 years ago. Except my husband wanted me to stay home. I was terrified of it. We had been talking about it for a while, but were never in the right place financially – you know how that can be. Finally my husband told me one night that he felt that God had told him to tell me that I needed to go to work the next day and give my two week notice. Like I said, I was terrified. I was the one who had the health insurance for us. I had no idea how we were going to make it financially. I had no idea what I was going to do with all my time as a stay-at-home wife! (Shows how little I knew – lol!) However, I submitted like a good little wife, and looking back, I can’t say that I am sorry in the least. My faith that was lacking has grown by leaps and bounds. My relationship with my husband has grown just as much. I still have alot to learn about keeping my home, but I am enjoying the learning process.
    So I guess all of this to say that many times the circumstances that keep us away from our homes are made to look greater than they actually are, simply because we are looking at the circumstances and not the God that rules them. I know this has been the lesson in my own life.

  5. Step says:

    June 4, 2008 will mark my 8th year as a full time at-home mother. It’s an anniversary that I hold very dear to my heart. As I think back to the 10 years I was in the workforce and the 2 1/2 of those years that my 2 babes were in daycare while I tried to be “super working mom who thought she could do it all”, I just don’t know how I did it.

    Well, yes I do know how it was done: home was a wreck, marriage was strained, my precious babes were in daycare 9 hours per day, I was miserable and things were getting worse by the moment. Something had to be done and that something was the resignation of a pretty well paying position. I’ve never once looked back or regretted the decision.

    My household is such a different place now that I’m home and surprisingly enough, we were spending so much in daycare costs and incidentals (lunches out, gas, fancy clothes, etc.) that we have yet to feel the pinch of my loss of salary. I am living proof that with a little faith and a good budget it definitely can be done.

  6. Hope64 says:

    This brings to the forefront the fact that SO many women wish to be at home, but are afraid that the family will not “make it” financially if they quit work.

    After YEARS of infertility we found that we had conceived our first born. My husband and I knew that God was telling us that I was to quit work.

    God has supernaturally met our every need in the 11 years that I have been at home. He has also given us wisdom in setting an budget and living within our means.

    It CAN be done.


  7. Anonymous says:

    Are you saying that homeschooling moms are able to do all these things every day? I know for me I’m just as exhausted as the working mom some days. I don’t have the extra energy to expend.

    Jane Clark

  8. Vicki says:

    I’ve been home now for 4 years with my family.

    I am so thankful that I am now at home where I belong. Both my husband and I struggled with depression during the years I worked and at the time we only had one child who also suffered by being in a school he hated. But a miracle happened and the Lord saved me and I’m now blessed to be at home for my husband at all times and with my 3 wonderful children, homeschooling.

    We live in the UK and cost of living here is extremely high, but if you’re prepared to give up those luxuries you really don’t need and seriously budget it really is possible. Most people we know feel sorry for us as we live in a very small house, spend all the time with our children, don’t go on overseas holidays, etc. When we are truly blessed!

  9. Cyndi Lewis says:

    I just want to encourage working women that it is possible to live well on one income. It is a matter of examining one’s priorities through God’s eyes. God tells us that he knows our needs and will meet them. Plus there are ways a stay at home mom can bring in money into the home while keeping home the focus. I encourage women to check out Crystal Paine’s website http://www.biblicalwomanhood.com .

  10. Nickey says:

    We just received a whole bunch of DVD’s from Vision Forum and I can’t remember which one it was on, but the speaker quoted from Larry Burkett about how much money *most* women in the workforce are actually bringing home after all the work related expenses and it comes out to about $2.30 an hour.

    I have read an article by a woman who went out into the workforce solely for the insurance and she figured she was making less than a dollar an hour. Others have quoted about $1000 (less than 50 cents an hour) a year in income for a second wage earner in the home.

    There are many, many creative ways to earn more than this right from home!

  11. Jennifer says:

    “*most* women in the workforce are actually bringing home after all the work related expenses and it comes out to about $2.30 an hour.”

    Really. You would think that in this day and age, women would finally get equal pay! Still, I bet that sum’s not accurate for female doctors and what have you.

  12. Nikki says:

    Hi ladies,
    I was just wondering how those of you who are stay at home moms are able to afford health insurance for the whole family?
    my husband has a very good insurance coverage but only for himself, for spouse it costs $55o, and each child somewhere around $300 a month, for us it is not feasible tu pay this much for health insurance.

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