…Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands…1 Peter 3:4-5

We learn from Scripture that a meek and quiet spirit is of great price in the eyes of God. We’re also told the holy women of old (those to whom we can look as examples) adorned themselves with meekness and quietness of spirit resulting in subjection to their own husbands. What does this mean? Were they mindless, weak women who spoke in a fearful whisper? Were they oppressed victims living a slave-like existence?

We live in a society where women are taught that if they allow a man to rule over them, they are foolishly enslaving themselves—wasting their personhood and minimizing their existence. Meek and quiet do not describe today’s modern woman. In fact, boisterous and brazen would be more accurate.

I have been reading a wonderful book by Matthew Henry called The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit. Although it was not written specifically for women, it is a wonderful teaching for those of us who tend to become impatient with our situations or with those around us and find ourselves displaying the very opposite of a meek and quiet spirit.

Matthew Henry reminds us that whatever trial we are experiencing, we can be sure that God is at work in us. We must not reject the trial or irritation, because it is God’s will for us at this point in our lives. We must see it as being from His hand and for our good.

Consider the following quote from Matthew Henry:

“We must abide by this principle (Psalm 17:14) that whatever it is that crosses us, or is displeasing to us at any time, God has an overruling hand in it.”

Thayer’s definition of meekness say, “Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting.”

It is so hard to not only say we accept His dealings with us as good, but to truly believe it! In the very first chapter, Matthew Henry describes meekness as easiness. Another word would be forbearance or acceptance. Here is a portion of what he shares:

“Meekness is easiness (forbearance) for it accommodates the soul to every occurrence, and so makes a man easy to himself and to all about him”…

“To all about him?” Would this include to our husbands?

Then again, he shares nuggets of convicting wisdom regarding quietness (hesuchios):

Inferiors are commonly very apt to complain. If everything be not just (fair) to their mind they are fretting and vexing, and their hearts are hot within them; they are uneasy in their place and station, finding fault with everything that is said or done to them. A quiet spirit would reconcile us to the post we are in and to all the difficulties of it, and would make the best of the present state though it is attended with many inconveniences.

Those unquiet people whom the apostle Jude in his epistle compares to “raging waves of the sea, and wandering stars: (ver. 13), “were murmurers and complainers” (ver. 16), blamers of their lot, as the word signifies. It is an instance of unquietness to be ever quarrelling our allotment. Those wives wanted (lacked) a meek and quiet spirit who “covered the altar of the Lord with tears” (Mal. 2:13). Not tears of repentance for sin, but tears of vexation at the disappointments they met in their outward condition.

Do we find ourselves weeping tears of repentance over our own willfulness and disobedience or are we too busy weeping tears of bitterness over our husband’s sin or neglect?

Let us be challenged this day. Let us repent of our blindness to our own sin and willfulness. Let us lay down our desire to rule and rejoice in our redemption—thanking God for His provision. Let us praise God in thanksgiving that we are free from the bondage of sin that makes us loath submission to our husbands! Let us be like the holy women of old, adorning ourselves with a meek and quiet spirit, being in subjection to our own husbands.

At the death of one of America’s greatest theologians, Jonathan Edwards; Sarah, his devoted wife, wrote to her daughter:

A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. O that we may kiss the rod and lay our hands upon our mouths. The Lord has done it. He has made me adore his goodness, that we had him so long. But my God lives; and he has my heart. O what a legacy my husband and your father has left us! We are given to God and there I am and love to be.

Are we too, “given to God” and content to be in the position in which he’s placed us? Our Lord is sovereign. He is in control. He can turn a husband’s heart toward God and his family. Although I cannot say for certain why a wife’s husband is not showing spiritual leadership, I can say for certain that it’s not her job to show him how!

Trust God and seek His ways. Allow God to work in your own life as well as your husband’s. Learn to weep tears of repentance rather than rivers of bitterness. Be at rest, knowing that your husband’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, and he will turn it whichever way He wishes. Proverbs 21:1

• Why Won’t He Lead? (Part 1)
• Television, Movies, and Men
• Treasuring Contentment
• Stained Sheets: Licking Ash Trays – Part 1
• Divided We Fall: The Great Dance – Part 2 of Stained Sheets

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